Splitends: A Collection of Short Stories
by AstroLatte
Summary: Life outside the tower was not simple. The castle was filled with stories, some tying lose ends and others starting new strands.
1. Ghost and Goblins

**Ghost and Goblins**

The door creaked softly as Rapunzel slowly entered his chambers, her bare-feet tiptoeing hesitantly inside. She creeped to his bedside, shaking him and softly whispering his name.

"Eugene, wake up."

He groaned, curling tighter around his blankets. Burying his head deeper into his pillow.

"Eugene, please," she begged, still shaking him. "It's important."

Still seeing no response, Pascal took it amongst himself to take action. Leaping from Rapunzel's shoulder, and towards Eugene's ear. The tiny chameleon stuck his tongue into his ear with profound skill.

"Gah!" Eugene yelled, jerking up from the bed to see Rapunzel hovering over him, frying pan in-hand. "GAH!"

"Why are you peering over me in the middle of the night while holding that thing?" he shrieked, gripping the blankets tightly. He quickly turned his attention to the tiny lizard, sitting on his bed. "And why do you keep doing that?"

"Calm down," she whispered. "It's not for you."

"Comforting," he said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Who is it for, then? Because if you're planning to cook me breakfast in bed, 4am is still a bit too early."

"I heard a noise," she said, sheepishly. "I need you to come with me to investigate."

"A noise?" he said, his expression deadpan. "Nearly a month ago we escaped a broken dam, fought some of the most wanted men in the Kingdom and brought me back to life...and you're scared of a noise you heard in the middle of the night?"

"I never said I was scared," Rapunzel said defensively. "I just said I heard it. Will you come with me? Please? I won't be able to go to sleep until I find out what it is."

"All right fine. You're lucky I'm such a nice guy," he said exasperatedly, gently handing her back Pascal before swinging his legs out of bed. "And that I'm afraid of what Pascal will do to me if I refuse."

"Thank you!" she squealed, pecking his cheek and taking his hand in hers. "C'mon, it came from the Library."

She pulled him down the Castle's halls, stopping in front of the oversized double doors. Rapunzel stopped, letting go of his hand and gripping her pan tightly.

"You check first," she stammered as he raised an eyebrow at her curiously. "To scout the perimeter, you know what I mean?"

"Sure," he said, unconvincingly. Grabbing one of the door's handles, opening the heavy door slowly. He peaked inside, before quickly slamming the door closed with a gasp.

"What did you see?" she asked eagerly.

"I don't believe it..." he answered, looking shocked.

"Was it a ghost?"

"No..."

"A goblin?"

"Worse..."

"Oh my gosh," Rapunzel squeaked, hiding behind her frying pan. "A ghost goblin?"

"No, it's actually..." he said, opening the door to the Library, bearing an unfazed expression. "Nothing. It's absolutely nothing. The most threatening thing in here is a paper cut."

Rapunzel looked up at him, before tentatively walking into the doorway. Craning her neck out, she examined the darkened Library. All seemed safe, until a rustling of papers were heard, terrifying her enough to jump into Eugene's arms. She dropped her frying pan with a loud clank as she gripped his neck tightly. He stumbled backwards slightly, in an attempted to hold both her and the heavy door open.

"Did you hear that?" she squeaked, as she gripped Eugene. "I told you there was something in there!"

"Rap-un-zel," he gasped for air. "Can't...breathe..."

She loosened her grip slightly, enough for him to get some air, as she clung to him. Her face buried in his shirt.

"Why are you so worked up over this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's probably just a draft or something."

"Just check," she said, voice muffled. "Please?"

"All right, but you're going to have to let go of me."

She shook her head, face still firming planted in his chest. He sighed, petting her hair softly. She looked up at him sheepishly, before hopping out of his arms. He handed her the frying pan, kissing her forehead before venturing inside.

He walked around the room, stopping at a stack of papers on the windowsill, brightly visible in the moonlight. He grinned when he discovered the source of the noise. Turning around, he motioned for Rapunzel to come over. She tiptoed to his side as he pointed behind the pile of papers, to the tiny white mouse that stared at the closed window longingly.

Handing Eugene her frying pan, she unlocked the window. A cool night breeze flew in, as the mouse looked upwards towards Eugene and Rapunzel, nose twitching, before it scurrying out into the night.


	2. New Beginnings

**New Beginnings**

It started with a bang at the door.

Startled, she turned towards her bedroom door. It was late and she had just put on her nightgown, exhausted from another day of learning how to be royalty. Adjusting to the kingdom after being cooped in her tower for the first eighteen years of her life was not an easy task. Turning to a mirror, she silently wonder if she really could learn to be a princess. Her door banged again.

"Who's there?" she asked, hesitantly. Pascal peeping through her short brown hair, blinking in confusion.

There was a groan, and another bang. She turned to her tiny friend. "Should I answer it?"

The tiny chameleon shrugged, as she ran a hand through her hair. A nervous habit that constantly reminded her of her new life. She took a deep breath and opened the door slowly, revealing her hero, banging his head on her bedroom door.

"Eugene?" she squeaked, as he stumbled into her room face first, landing on her floor with a thud. He didn't move from the ground, just groaned into her carpet.

Dropping to her knees, she rolled him on his back so she could see his face. It was covered in paint.

"Paint pellets?" she asked.

"Paint pellets," he confirmed.

She helped him up, noticing the cuts and bruises around his face. His lip was cut and his eyes seemed sunken.

"All this for Knight training?" she asked.

"This may be the blood loss talking, but I think those guys have gone past training me. I feel like a human punching bag."

"You think it's bit of them trying to get back at you for what you put them through when you were a thief?"

"You know the old saying, revenge is a dish best with paint pellets and guard dogs."

"Here," she said, pulling him to his feet. He wobbled and leaned on her for support, half because he needed it but more because he wanted it. "Take a nice hot shower, you can wash the paint out of your hair."

"And the blood out of my beard."

She smiled, and led him to her bathroom. He stumbled in, taking off his shirt in front of her. Pascal squeaked, and jumped off her shoulder as she blushed. He raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Sorry," she squeaked, flushed. "Still getting used to...this."

"Well it is, impressive," he joked, his hand reaching out and taking hers. "But I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for you."

She smiled, squeezing his hand before letting go, "You should take your shower, you smell like the color brown."

He laughed as she made her way to her bed, hopping onto the mattress and looking at her ceiling. The golden sun symbol sparkled as the moonlight bounced off, mimicking golden rays. After a few minutes of his shower, she heard the squeak of the knob as the water stopped pouring. He soon appeared from the bathroom, towel on his head, clothed in only his undershirt and slacks. He flopped onto the bed next to her.

"Everything hurts," he groaned.

She smiled and rubbed the towel on his head, drying and ruffling his hair in the process.

"So how was Princess Training?" he asked. "You learn which side of the plate the salad fork goes on?"

"It's a bit overwhelming," she said honestly, pushing the towel off, revealing his face. His brown eyes meeting her green. "I love it here, but part of me wonders if I can fit in here."

"You don't," he said honestly, which would have insulted her if he wasn't smiling. "But that's what makes you perfect."

"You think I can do it?" she asked softly, running her hand through her hair. He stopped her, taking her hand and kissing it softly.

"I know you can," he said, grinning. "I wouldn't be getting my butt handed to me every day if I didn't think you were a Princess that was worth it."


	3. Répondez s'il vous Plaît

**Répondez s'il vous Plaît**

"How about Prince Andrew from the Stroudsburg Kingdom?"

"Hates me."

"How can he hate you? Have you ever even met him?"

"Didn't have too...I stole his grandmother's emerald ring when I was fourteen."

Rapunzel frowned at Eugene from her spot on the ground, a list of names in her hand and empty invitations around her.

"What? I was fourteen!" he said, shrugging from his seat on the floor next to her. "Guy probably has a grudge against me. Do you want a brawl at your birthday ball?"

"All right, how about Prince Grant from the Hertz Kingdom?"

"Err...that's bad idea."

"What now?" she groaned, ready to give up on having a part entirely.

"I um...accidentally killed his dog."

"Doing what?"

"Running away from his guards," he grinned as she buried her head in her hands. "If it's any consolation, it wasn't my arrow that got it. It was a pretty old dog too, if anything I was doing it a favor."

"Eugene, is there anyone on this list that you haven't burgled?" she asked, exasperatedly handing her boyfriend the guest list.

The young man eyed the list, taking a pen in his hand and circling the names that were safe to invite to the ball. He handed the girl back the paper and she scanned it briefly, instantly realizing the pattern to her safe choices.

"Is there a reason why every person's name you've circled is ether female or over 40 years old?"

"Oh, well would you look at that!" he smiled, laughing awkwardly. "What an astounding coincidence!"

"Right," Rapunzel said, raising her eyebrow. "Any chance it could just be that the once great Flynn Rider feels a little jealous of young Princes going to my birthday ball?"

"Jealous? Me? Please," he said, crossing his arms and laughing humorlessly. "Like any oh those frilly rich royal guys can hold a candle to me."

"Happy you think so, because there was a name on that list I didn't add yet," Rapunzel smiled, scribbling a name on the paper. "Prince Bradley from the Kingdom of Zeal. He's supposed to be very handsome, and foreign."

With a deadpan expressing, Eugene quickly stood and made his way to the door.

"Eugene? Where are you going?"

"To Zeal."

"Why?"

"No reason," He smiled and blew a kiss to Rapunzel. "Just business."


	4. Mistaken Identity

**Mistaken Identity**

It was breakfast time in the castle, a time that neither Rapunzel or Eugene were entirely accustomed to yet. Sitting at a long oversized table, the smiling King and Queen sat at either sides, and smiled at the pair who sat directly across from each other in the middle of the table. It was bizarre to Rapunzel, who didn't quite understand why they couldn't all sit at a tiny table together, especially since there was nobody else joining them.

"I feel guilty asking someone to pass the butter," Eugene joked one morning. "It wouldn't get here until lunch anyway."

Her parents were happy with the situation, and so Rapunzel didn't bring it up. There was one morning, however, that she was grateful for the long table. It's easier, she learned, to hide one's emotions when she was so far away.

"Eugene," said the King one morning after clearing his throat and wiping his beard with a napkin. "I have a question to ask you."

"Anything, your majesty."

"It has come to my attention that there are remains of some old flyers around the kingdom. Old wanted posters of a particular thief in question."

Eugene instantly felt himself start to sweat, as he looked to Rapunzel for assistance. The pixie-cut princess seemed to mirror his reaction. Still looking at the King, Eugene subtly mouthed the phrase, "I thought you told them."

"I thought they already knew!" she mouthed back.

"I'm dead," he mouthed finally, turning his full attention to the King.

"Here's the poster in question," the King continued, pulling out an old yellowed wanted poster of Flynn Rider. "I can't help but think of this man as...familiar."

"Really? Familiar? You think so?" Eugene squeaked, looking at Rapunzel for help. "You really think he looks familiar, Rapunzel?"

"Nope," she said, excessively grinning. "Can't say he does."

"I mean, that guy has some distinguishable features."

"You don't say?" The King asked, taking another look at the wanted flyer.

"I do say!" Eugene continued, pointing to the flyer. "Just look at that chiseled jaw, dashing smile, great head of hair..."

"That nose..." Rapunzel added, smirking from across the table.

"'That nose' is right!" the King exclaimed. "Hard to believe it's hard to find someone with a nose that big."

"A nose that big isn't something you see everyday," Rapunzel smiled over to her extremely uncomfortable love interest. "Your thoughts, Eugene?"

"I think," he said through gritted teeth. "There's a possibility that the artist of the Kingdom's Wanted posters may have been mistaken."

"Oh no, my boy," the King said, putting down the flyer and going back to his meal. "A nose that bad is not something that can be mistaken."


	5. Horsing Around

**Horsing Around**

"And to your left, you will see the Kingdom's largest waterfall," Eugene announced as his toured the local forest to Rapunzel. "The very waterfall where Max and I nearly tumbled to our deaths."

"Really?" Rapunzel peeped, holding onto Eugene's waist tightly from behind.

"Of course," he grinned, and began to scratch Maximus's ears like a dog, cooing, "Isn't that right, Max? Yes, you tried to kill me at this waterfall, didn't you? Who's a good homicidal horse? You are! Yes, you are!"

Maximus shook his head, glaring at Eugene with irritated eyes.

"Eugene, leave him alone!" the princess pouted, hopping off the horse's back delicately. "Maximus is a good horse, stop antagonizing him!"

"I'm just teasing," he grinned, handing her the picnic basket filled with their lunch. "Max knows that."

The horse waited for Rapunzel to walk near the waterfall, before bucking Eugene off his back and into the bushes a good feet away. Eugene landed with a loud thump as Maximus grinned coyly.

"You just find out how glue is made," Eugene groaned as he slowly picked himself from the bushes. "And we'll see who's still smiling."


	6. Winter Wonders

**Winter Wonders**

He was on his feet the second he heard it. Running with all his might, he skillfully dodged the various help around the Castle. He had nearly smashed into a servant carrying an oversized pile of linens, but managed to leap over her with the precision that only his years of thievery could perfect. He skidded to a stop at her bedroom door, relieved that she kept it unlocked. If she hadn't, the force of which he pulled the handle would've dislocated his arm.

"Rapunzel!" he called, running inside frantically, and didn't see her inside.

He looked around her room, and didn't find her. Growing uneasy he checked her closet, under her bed, before changing his attention to the window, and the petite frame that hung out of it. Moving quickly, he saw it was Rapunzel, reaching outside for something he couldn't see.

"There you are," he said relieved. "I thought someone came in here and took you."

"Don't worry," he heard from outside. "You're the only bandit for me."

"What are you doing anyway?" he asked, craning his neck out of the window. "What's all the screaming about?"

"Haven't you looked outside this morning, Eugene?" Rapunzel laughed as she pulled herself inside. Looking up at him from her place on the windowsill she revealed to him what was in her hands. "It snowed last night!"

"Oh yeah," he said, finally noticing the white blanket of snow that covered the castle. "But why did you scr-"

His sentence was cut short as Rapunzel smashed the icy powder in his face. She laughed as he wiped it off.

"I never knew how cold it was!" she giggled, "And when I touched it I was so shocked!"

"Small wonders," Eugene said as she smiled excitedly at him, her green eyes sparkling. "This is your first snowfall, huh?"

"Yes!" Rapunzel answered, still grinning as she jumped to her feet, grabbing his arm. "C'mon let's go outside!"

"Hold on, don't you want to dress a little warmer?" he noted, as she stopped in her tracks, looking down at her thin nightgown.

"Right," she said, "That would be best."

Instantly she shoved him out of her bedroom so she could get changed, fiercely instructing him not to leave without her. He laughed as her eagerness, hearing her frantically go through her closet in search for winter-ware. He leaned against her heavy door, still smiling. He nearly fell forward when she opened it, and was quickly back to being dragged down the hallway

"C'mon, Eugene!" she said, tugging his arm.

He had learned it was better to go along with Rapunzel when she got wrapped up in things rather than fighting her. For a tiny princess, she was full of energy. He thanked the servants as they handed him their heavy cloaks as she barreled outside the castle walls into the main courtyard.

"Wow..." she marveled, too busy taking-in her surroundings to notice Eugene wrap her heavy cloak around her. "It's so beautiful...like someone just spilled sugar on the entire world."

She watched as Eugene walked in front of her, about facing to send her a smile, before falling backwards on the snow. He then began moving his arms and legs.

"What are you doing?"

"Snow Angels," he answered, "Give it a try."

Nodding eagerly, she spread out her arms and fell face first. She landed with a thud on the snow, as Eugene erupted into laughter.

He sat up slowly and watched as she peeled herself from the snow. Bits of ice sticking to her short brown hair. "Turn around and fall backwards."

Still seated, she spun around and dropped to her back. She mimicked Eugene's motions for a few minutes. She watched him jump to his feet with ease, leaving an angelic form behind. Reaching out his hand towards hers, she took it as he pulled her up. Her tiny angel matching his.

"They're so pretty," she sighed. She looked around to see how beautiful the trees looked covered in snow, the windows coated with ice. She didn't even notice that Eugene was gone, until she was nailed in the face with a cold ball of snow.

"Eugene!" she squealed, wiping away the snow from her face. "What was that?"

"Payback for that snow you shoved in my face back there," he grinned, tossing a snowball up and down tauntingly. "It's a snowball."

"Well, now it's war!" she smirked, grabbing a handful of snow. After quickly patting it into a ball, she chucked it at his fleeting form.

They chased each other childishly around the courtyard. Rapunzel throwing snowballs as Eugene dodged every ball of ice with ease. Suddenly the snowballs stopped flying, and Eugene peeked from a mound of snow to see that Rapunzel had given up. Sitting in the snow, her forehead rested on her knees. She sounded like she was crying. Instantly he was at her side.

"Hey," he whispered, softly stroking her hair with his hand. "What happened?"

"You..." she sobbed softly. He leaned in closer, in hopes of hearing the rest of her sentence. Her head rose slightly from her knees, and suddenly he was blinded by white. "FELL FOR IT!"

He landed into the snow with and crunch, as her laugher filled the courtyard. He grinned, face covered with snow.

"_Touché_," he chuckled. "Well played, Princess."


	7. Love Doctor

**Love Doctor**

Sitting in a stuffy room filled with stuffy old men, Eugene found himself barely conscious as they droned on about territories, charters, and financial issues throughout the various kingdoms surrounding Corona. Eugene was bored, so painfully bored, at a meeting about money. Talking about money was boring.

The world no longer made sense.

He would not have even been aware of such event if the King had not so pleasantly asked him to attend. Eugene happily agreed, the King had welcomed him to the palace with opened arms, dropping all charges against him as well as his bounty. The least he could do was attend some meeting - a financial meeting no less - as his role as Prince consort of Corona. As he sat between some Duke of Someplace and some Prince of Wherever in the stuffy room, he concluded that death better than this meeting - and he would know.

Regardless Eugene sucked it up, deciding to simply keep his mouth shut and count back from 1000 until the meeting concluded. He was at 734 when he noticed a snore from besides him. From the corner of his eyes Eugene saw that the Duke of Someplace had fallen asleep.

At least he wasn't the only one who found this meeting painful. The Prince of Wherever on his other side would not agree. As Eugene and the Duke fought against sleep, the young Prince seemed extremely eager to listen. He sat up so straight Eugene's back hurt just watching.

He was even taking notes!

"Teacher's pet," he murmured, before going back to his counting.

When the King announced it was time for an intermission, Eugene nearly bolted for the door. As he was making his way to the courtyard, he was called over by the King.

"Eugene, my boy," he smiled, introducing him one of the stuffy men from the meeting. "This is King Harrison, from the Western Kingdom."

"Your majesty," Eugene said, bowing as he was taught by the stuck up etiquette tutor. "It's an honor."

"Likewise, for you have made quite a name for yourself Mr. Fitzherbert," King Harrison remarked, stroking his beard. "It's not everyday that a kingdom's most wanted thief returns a lost princess. Ironic that you had stolen her crown, no less."

"I like to think of it as returning it to her, your majesty."

Both Kings exchanged looks before bursting into hearty laughter.

"Oh you were right about him," Harrison said between chuckles. "He is a charming fellow. Mr. Fitzherbert, I'd like you to meet my son Nathaniel."

After calling his son over his shoulder, the young man walked over. To Eugene's surprise it was Prince of Wherever, the eager beaver from the meeting. Now standing in the sunlight, Eugene was able to get a proper look at the young Prince. He was a tall, lanky, young man with a poor complexion. Eugene was sure he had seen chicken with more meat on their bones than this kid.

"Son, this is Eugene Fitzherbert," the King said, hand on his son's shoulder. "The man who returned the lost princess."

Eugene was about to show off his etiquette bow for the Prince, when he was quickly stopped by Nathaniel's excited handshakes.

"THE Eugene Fitzherbert? It is an absolute honor, sir!"

"Oh...um...thanks..."

"Oh my goodness, are the rumors true? Were you really the Kingdom's greatest thief? How did you managed to steal her crown from the Castle?"

"Nathaniel, please!" King Harrison scolded and the Prince instantly shut his mouth. "Excuse my son, Mr. Fitzherbert, he tends to get a bit carried away."

"Speaking of carried away," The other King said, noting the time. "We should gather the rest of the men that have wandered off. We must get back to business."

King Harrison nodded, following suit as Eugene and Nathaniel remained standing. Nathaniel continued to stare at Eugene, who was already deep in his own thoughts.

He eyed the balcony on the second floor of the wing, wondering if a fall from the height would be enough to injure him. A broken leg would surely be a good enough reason to not need to return to the meeting. While the idea of weeks of bed-rest made him antsy, the idea of Rapunzel nursing him back to health was quite appealing.

He was just fantasizing of her feeding him soup as Nathaniel brought him back to reality.

"Mr. Fitzherbert," he begged, intruding into Eugene's personal space. "I know is rude but I must to ask you something."

"Um, sure? Go for it."

"As a man of your stature, I am sure you have had many experiences with women outside that of Princess Rapunzel."

"Heh, you could say that." Eugene grinned at the understatement.

"Which leads me to my question...could you...may you...if it was not too much trouble..." Nathaniel stammered, twiddling his skinny fingers as Eugene raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Could you...COULD YOU TEACH ME HOW TO WOO A WOMAN?"

"WHAT?"

"I know it's sudden, and I am most likely over stepping boundaries and intruding," Nathaniel rushed, taking Eugene's hands in his own which really freaked him out. "But I need guidance, and I need it quickly. I must be able to woo Princess Penelope at tonight's banquet, I may never have another chance!"

"All right, hold up," Eugene said, taking back his hands and crossing his arms over his chest. "You want me to teach you how to attract women so you can get with this Princess?"

"Precisely!"

"Aren't you a Prince, though? Can you just order her to date you?"

"I am...not very good with orders," he confessed. "Could you please help me? I would like to earn Penelope's love earnestly, not through my title."

Eugene pursed his lips as he mulled over the idea. If this was a mere month ago, Flynn Rider would've refused to help the Prince. Unless of course there was some monetary exchange involved. But now, Eugene Fitzherbert was at a dilemma. Granted, Nathaniel was a Prince, but then again Eugene was a Prince consort. A work-in-progress sure, but still they were the same social rank, so he didn't owe him anything.

He watched as the young Prince looked up at him hopefully, and saw a spark of something in his eyes. Something familiar.

"Fine," he agreed, reluctantly. "I'll help you get that Princess Peach."

"Penelope."

"Whatever," Eugene said, making his way back inside. He was stopped when he felt Nathaniel pull him into a bony hug.

"Thank you, Mr. Fitzherbert!" he said, his voice cracking. "You are an honorable man, and I am ever so excited to be learning from you!"

"Riiight. Okay, first lesson," Eugene said, prying his way out of the hug. "Men do not hug other men. Ever."

"Of course! My apologies!" Nathaniel squeaked, following Eugene inside.

As Eugene slumped back to his chair, he reflected the stupidity of his decision. He was getting soft. Watching the clock tick away, he suddenly found himself dreading the end of the meeting.

Oddly enough, the second half of negotiations seemed to fly by, and before Eugene knew it he was behind the Royal Stables, trying to teach a Prince he barely knew how to pick up chicks.

"Okay, let's begin with the basics," Eugene said, hand on his hips. "Girls like physical guys."

"Physical, of course," Nathaniel repeated, taking notes.

There was a snort from inside the stable, and Eugene looked over his shoulder to see that Maximus was watching them, obviously entertained. He ignored the horse and went back to his lesson.

"What kind of physical activity do you do, Nate?"

"Me? Well, I attempted track and field, but I would always fall victim of my asthma attacks. Then I would go hunting with my father, but the sight of blood made me queasy." He stopped for a moment, thinking. "I was in a fight once."

"How'd that go?" Eugene asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not...very well."

Maximus let out a sad neigh, feeling sympathy for the wimpy Prince.

"Well don't let it get you down," he grinned. "Some girls like brains over brawn anyway! And you seem like...the bookish type."

"Oh of course!" Nathaniel nodded eagerly. "I love books. The most pleasant place in the entire world is the palace Library. Sometimes I like to-"

"All right you're a book lover, cool," Eugene interrupted, not in the mood to listen to this guy rave about paper cuts and footnotes.

"A book lover and an Penelope lover," Nathaniel sighed, and Eugene inwardly gagged. "Oh, but she shall never want me...not when there are Princes that are much stronger and masculine in the world."

Nathaniel let out a melodramatic sigh, curling in on himself in self pity. Eugene ran his hand through his hair awkwardly, not knowing how he got himself into this situation. He felt a nudge in his back, as Maximus urged him to comfort the Prince. Swatting the horse away, Eugene sat besides Nathaniel.

"Look, Nate," he began. "Not all woman are attracted to the big, strong guys. I mean, did Rapunzel swoon into my arms the moment she saw me? Of course she did!"

There was a loud snort heard from the stables, which Eugene cooly ignored.

"But not all girls are like that," he continued. "If you're as crazy for this Princess Petunia-"

"Penelope."

"Yeah her. If you're as nuts for her as you sound, then you just need to man up and talk to her at the Banquet tonight."

"But what if I stumble on my words, or even pass out due to the extremity of her sheer beauty?"

"Just believe in yourself. If you go up to her and you're confident, that's more attractive than anything."

"You're right, Mr. Fitzherbert." Nathaniel said, gripping his fist together determinedly. "I shall believe in myself and therefore Penelope shall believe in me as well! I just wished I had something to use...a secret weapon."

At the mention of a secret weapon, Eugene perked up. Grinning deviously, he knew exactly what Nathaniel could use to clinch his deal.

Later that night at the banquet, the ballroom was filled with royalty from every which-way. However, among the sea of faces Eugene could not make out Nathaniel's.

"He better not have chickened out," he grumbled, and was ripped from his worries when he felt Rapunzel's tiny finger's interlock with his.

"Who better not have chickened out?" she asked, curiously.

"It's nothing," he said, uneasy. He changed the conversation. "So how was your mother-daughter brunch with the Queens and Princesses?"

"Great!" she nodded excitedly, grinning childishly. "Princess Penelope and I got along the best. She's really sweet, and tells great knock-knock jokes. I told her that I painted murals on my walls and she wasn't even freaked out, she wanted to see them!"

"Sounds great," he said, as the ballroom music began to play. "Oh, I think we're supposed to be out there."

"C'mon," she said, as they made their way to the ballroom floor, dancing like they've been taught by the Etiquette teacher. "How was your financial meeting?"

Just as he was about to say horrible, Eugene noticed Nathaniel make his way inside the ballroom. He grinned approvingly, the kid really did have it in him!

"Oh is that Prince Nathaniel?" Rapunzel asked, forgetting her prior question. She grinned up at Eugene coyly. "According to my sources, Princess Penelope is quite found of him."

"No kidding? Which one is she, anyway?"

Rapunzel motioned with her head, as Eugene looked to see Nathaniel slowly walk over to the Princess. After all he had heard about the Penelope, he was not expecting her to be so...heavy. Granted, she had a very beautiful face.

"Oh, he's going to ask her to dance with him!" Rapunzel squeaked. "She looks like she's going to cry!"

"And he looks like he's going to keel over."

They watched as they danced, as Nathaniel took Penelope's hand, and after talking with her briefly made a familiar facial expression. Penelope laughed, taking his hand in hers and quickly made way for the dance floor.

"Oh my gosh, was that...was that the SMOLDER?" Rapunzel cried, looking up at Eugene who was smiling innocently.


	8. Easy Go

**Easy Go**

Heaven was not what he was expecting. For example, the interior was so fluffy it reminded him of that time in the orphanage he ripped his pillow to create fake-snow for the younger kids. And he didn't really expect to see a tacky, blinking, neon-sign that read, _"Heaven"_ in the front.

"Next!" A voice boomed from somewhere ahead, and the crowd stepped forward.

He took in his surroundings. Everyone seemed to have a dazed, contented expression on their face. This seem really weird to him. He felt good, but not _that_ good.

"Next!"

On the contrary, he felt kind of sad. He looked around again and didn't see her in line, so he figured she was okay. He felt conflicted. He wanted to be with her, but also he wanted her to stay alive.

"Next!" the voice yelled again, sounding very irritated.

He missed her...and was growing kind of bored. If he was with her, he wouldn't have been bored. So far, heaven was not a very impressive place.

"I said...NEXT!"

Just as he was wondering if he could pickpocket someone in heaven, he felt a nudge at his back. Turning, he saw an old man smiling up at him pleasantly.

"I believe he's talking to you."

He blinked, nodding and moving forward to the giant pedestal where a bearded man looked down at him annoyed.

"Name?" he droned.

"Flynn Rider," he grinned handsomely, hands on his hips.

"Name?" he repeated.

"I just said Fly-"

"Your REAL name."

"...Eugene Fitzherbert," he grumbled reluctantly, crossing his arms with a frown.

"That's better, now let's see..." the man said, looking through a giant book, stroking his beard as he went. "Nope, there no Eugene Fitzherbert here."

"What do you mean there's no Eugene Fitzherbert there?"

"That you're not on the Enter list."

"Wait...what does that mean?"

The man behind the book smirked, "What do you think..._Flynn Rider_?"

He swallowed heavily and pointed downwards nervously, the bearded man nodded. Suddenly a ringing sound erupted, and a red phone appeared. The bearded man answered quickly.

"Yeah?...I know, he's here...he's not on the list...doesn't that mean he goes...right...really?...REALLY?...all right, you're the boss." He hung up the phone, looking down at him with a frown. "Looks like you're off the hook."

"Off the hook?"

"You got a second chance, kid," the bearded man said, as a large lever appeared. "Don't waste it."

Before Eugene could answer, the bearded man had pulled the lever and he was dropped through a trap door. He fell down into light, and woke up in her arms.


	9. Consumption

**Consumption**

She always awoke with his arm around her. Squirming closer to him, she would cuddle into his chest, his warmth comforting especially during rainy mornings. With skills only a master thief could posses, he would scale the palace walls and sneak into her bedroom each night, right under the guard's noses.

"You think this is hard? Pfft, please," he scoffed one evening. "I stole the most heavily guarded crown in the kingdom. Breaking into a Princess's bedrooms is a cake walk."

She would worry about him though. Entering her chambers in the dead of night and leaving in the early morning was bound to take a toll on him. He swatted her concerns away, telling her to relax and that he "got it".

And one morning, he did.

The first clue that something was wrong was when she noticed he was still in her bed, far later than his usual departure. Turning a clock on the mantel, she saw that she had a few hours until the chamber's housekeepers would enter. She turned to her bed partner, shaking him awake.

"Eugene, get up!"

He grumbled something, and curled deeper into the blankets. She knew he enjoyed sleeping, but she also knew he enjoyed living as well.

"C'mon," she begged, trying to literally push him out of the bed. He felt warmer than usual, but she figured it was due to the colder weather. "They're going to catch you!"

Repositioning herself, she managed to brace herself on the mattress and kick him out of the bed. He landed with a loud GAH and THUMP on the hardwood floor.

"Are you trying to kill me?" his voice rang, sounding hoarse. Looking up at her with glassy eyes, she continued to point at the clock on her mantle.

"You seem to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself," she frowned. "You overslept."

The second he registered his surroundings, Eugene was up on his feet. Only staggering for a moment to rub his eyes with his palms.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine," he snuffed, and made his way to the window.

"You sound weird."

"No, I don't," he insisted, slipping on his boots. "You're imag-ima-ACHOO!"

"Gazuntite," she said, not really sure if that was the appropriate answer. She had only heard Eugene and a few other people use it before.

"Thanks," he said sheepishly, craning his neck out the window. Luckily the guards were still off shift, and he skillfully climbed out the window. "I'll see you soon."

"Be careful,"

He grinned cheekily as he dropped out of sight. She waited a few minutes, listening for any chaos. After a considerable amount of time without screaming, she figured that he was back in his own room.

Falling back onto the bed, she felt the little nudge of Pascal from under the pillow. Shifting around she saw the small chameleon creep out, with a thin piece of paper stuck on its back. Freeing him from it, she took a closer look.

"Is this...a tissue?"

She was awaken a few hours later by her chamber maid.

"Rise and shine, your majesty," she smiled. "It is a cold but beautiful day out today!"

Rapunzel sat up groggily, the tissue still clenched in her hand. The servant quickly noticed and gasped.

"Oh, your majesty, have you been sick?"

"What...sick?" she asked, the word sounding foreign to her lips.

"Oh yes, this chilly weather can cause the worse colds," she explained, taking the tissue from her hand as well as others that apparently littered her floor. "Master Eugene seems to have caught himself a death of one!"

"DEATH?" Rapunzel shrieked, jumping out of her bed.

"Well, it's a figure of-" the woman was unable to finish her sentence, as Rapunzel was already sprinting through the castle halls in a panic.

She had made it down to Eugene's chambers in record time, banging on his door. After a few seconds, a woozy looking Eugene answered.

"Rapunz-UGH!" he grunted as she flew herself at him, the door closed behind them as they tumbled onto his bed.

"I KNEW IT!" she sobbed in his chest. "I KNEW I WAS TAMPERING WITH FATE!"

"What are you-"

"I SHOULD NEVER HAD LET YOU SNEAK INTO MY ROOM! IT WAS BAD KARMA!"

"Rapunzel, calm dow-"

"NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"What? No! Rapunzel!"

"AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

"RAPUNZEL!"

"WHAT?" she sniffed, wiping her face with the sleeve of her nightgown.

"As much as I love the predicament we're in," he said, motioning to her straddling him in her nightgown. "What are you talking about?"

"The handmaiden said you were cold," she answered, still rubbing her face. "And were going to die."

Putting two-and-two together, Eugene instantly realized her confusion and pursed his lips to keep from smile. She looked at him for a second before throwing herself back into his chest with a sob. He didn't smile after that, seeing just how scared she was of losing him...again.

"Hey," he whispered, rubbing her back in soothing, even circles, "I'm not gonna die, it's just a little cold. I'm fine."

She pulled away from him to look down at his face, he attempted to smile but his red nose and fevered cheeks ruin the effect. Eyes brimmed with tears, she frowned.

"You don't look fine."

His face fell, his expression deadpan as he began to cough. She quickly climbed off of him, as he sat up, covering his mouth with his elbow.

"Or sound fine," she pouted.

"A little juice, a little rest and I'll be back to normal in no time," he turned to her. "You should probably skedaddle though."

"No." Still pouting she crossed her arms, he raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm staying here."

"Oh no you're not," he thumbed the hall. "The guards and servants outside are probably having a fit that you ran in here - in your nightgown no less - and if they saw you in my bed they'll really freak out."

"So what, let them," she crawled under his blankets, appearing on at the head of the bed. Pascal popping his head from her shoulder. "I'm staying here to make sure you're okay."

"They'll have my head!"

"No, they won't, we're not doing anything." She turned to the tiny chameleon. "Right, Pascal?"

The lizard nodded, crawling down her arm and under the blankets on her chest. She sent Eugene a smug smile as she cuddled deeper into the blankets.

"Fine, whatever. It's not like I need my head to live or anything." he groaned, running his hands through his hair. He was too sick for this nonsense. "For someone who burst in here scared that I was dying, you seem pretty willing to send me up the river."

She rolled her eyes and patted the other side of the bed. He joined her as she tucked herself into him, he was warmer than usual. Pascal peeked from the blankets, quickly crawling up to curl against the back of his neck.

"You're gonna get sick," he mumbled, his glassy eyes feeling heavy. "Have you ever been sick before?"

"Nope," she mumbled in his chest, willing to spend the entire day curled against him. "Magical hair, remember?"

"You're gonna hate it."**  
**


	10. Paternity

**Paternity**

Rapunzel enjoyed new things. She liked to taste new foods, learn new words, and meet new people. Her first few days at the Palace consisted of her dragging Eugene around and asking him what things were, the next consisted of her asking her parents about...well, everything.

She wanted to know all she could about them, their lives before her birth, while she was a baby, and while she was gone. Not all the stories were happy, though. The tales of their lives post her abduction were heartbreakingly sad. However, when the King and Queen teared up at recollection of the last 18 years trying to find their daughter, Rapunzel teared up as well, and it felt nice to have a family that didn't flinch when she rushed to embrace them.

Rapunzel was also learning that it was a nice to have a father, a figure she never really knew existed. She had asked Eugene about the role of fathers and with a shrug he answered, "A father is sort of like a mother, only instead of talking about your feelings together, you go fishing together. You know what I mean?"

She didn't, and had confusingly asked the King what fishing was, thinking it was some type of paternal bonding. When he had explained to her it was sport that used a pole to catch fish she became excited. Noting her eagerness, he had agreed to take her to the waterfront to learn.

"It is not really Princess behavior," he confided. "However, as long as your manners tutor does not find out, it should be fine."

They had gone to the waterfront early the next morning - or was it late that night? Rapunzel wasn't sure, but she was so excited for their trip she could barely sleep. Pascal yawned on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around the King's middle, ridding on the back of a Palace's horse.

"What do we do with the fish after we catch them?"

"Well, we can bring them back to the Royal Chef and he can make a nice dinner out of them," he explained.

"I've never had fish before," she said, turning to the sleepy Pascal. "Have you ever had fish before, Pascal?"

The tiny lizard shook his head sleepily, and Rapunzel's smile widened as they neared the water.

"We're almost there!"

The horse came to a halt and Rapunzel nearly bolted to the water, the King chuckled at her energy. After she had calmed down, he walked her through the steps of setting up their site, assembling their poles, and casting a line.

Casting was a bit difficult for Rapunzel. Her first time the line flew back and nicked their horse, and the second time the hook took hold of the King's crown, swiping it off his head.

"I'm so sorry!" she had groveled, feeling horrible.

"No harm done, my dear," he joked as he repositioned his crown. "As long as Eugene's old habits are not rubbing off on you."

After the lines were safely in the water, the King and Princess waited on the waterfront. They sat in silence, as Rapunzel's excitement subsided and turned to dread, afraid that the lack of conversation may make their outing awkward. She ran her hands through her short locks, thinking of possible conversation topics.

"So..." she began. "Do you enjoy fishing?"

"Oh yes," he smiled, holding the rod. "Very much."

"Have you been fishing for a long time?"

"Since I was a young boy."

"What's the biggest fish you've ever caught?"

"Oh, it was so long ago...it was rather huge...well maybe not huge, but was certainly large..." the King continued, before trailing off into a mumble. Rapunzel gasped, dropping her fishing rod in the process.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, her eyes growing wide. "You...you _mumble_?"

The King blinked, dumbstruck, before scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Um, well...yes, actually," he confessed. "It is a terrible habit I have...drove my tutors mad when I was a boy...not to mention your mother. It is a bit embarrassing, to be honest, but it is something I have not been able to shake-off. Does it bother you?"

"No!" she squealed, "Not at all! I mumble too!"

"R-really?" the King said, he had never noticed.

"Really! Back in the tower, I would trail off and mumble my sentences and it always really annoyed Mo-" Rapunzel stopped, catching herself, and wringing her hands nervously.

The King smiled sadly, he understood how much of an adjustment the palace had been for Rapunzel. Starting a new life was never easy, especially when the old life was ended so suddenly, and on such terrible terms. It was an adjustment for him as well, having to re-meet his daughter, but for him it was a happy one.

He rested his fishing pole on the grass to his side and took hold of her hand. Rapunzel looked up, and was met with his smiling face, slightly obscured by his beard.

"Between you and me," he said, in a low tone. "I don't mind the mumbling."

"Really?"

"Really."

She smiled, and he squeezed her hand warmly.


	11. Miscommunication

**Miscommunication**

Everything about her was unexpected. From his initial discovery of her, to her magical hair that glowed, everything about her was a surprise. As she learned, he learned. However, he wanted to share his feelings for her in a more memorable way than over a kitchen sink while he bleed profusely from his hand.

They had been helping the palace's chiefs prepare dinner and she was teaching him the proper way to cut vegetables. He humored her, allowing her to continue with her lesson which fell on his deaf ears. Kitchen duty at the orphanage had taught him a few things, and unlike most men he knew how to chop. What he didn't know, however, was just how much sharper the palace's knifes were to the ones he remembered.

Pulling his hand away quickly, he attempted to hide his injury from her, playing macho. Her eyes were quicker, and before he could brush her off they were already at the sink.

Back when she was a blonde, she would have wrapped her hair around his hand and sang. However, she was a brunette now, and a dishtowel replaced her magical hair and a nervous explanation left her lips instead of a song.

As she held onto his hand, exerting pressure to the cut, he watched her. She bravely faced every obstacle he'd ever seen her against, and the only aspect of change that ever scared her was any that would lose him. His injuries, no matter how small, concerned her. Having someone care about him like that was new.

"This looks deep," she said softly, examining the wound. "Maybe we should go to the infirmary."

"I love you."

He didn't realize what he had said until she shot up to look at him, taken aback. His mouth hung dumbly, and for the first time in his life he was at a lost for words.

Did...did he just say that? Why did he just say that? He couldn't even remember that last time he had said that. And during the most unromantic moment possible. They had just been chopping vegetables, and honestly what Princess chopped her own vegetables?

Like a flash he thought of all the moments in their relationship that would have been a better time for him to accidentally confess. During their first visit to the village, that night with the lanterns, after he escaped jail and burst into the tower to save her...oh, and that one time he died.

He was once Flynn Rider, a man with a tongue so smooth he could get any woman's corset off with a mere smolder (not that he was one to brag or anything). Did Eugene Fitzherbert really not have any game? Did being honest lose him his charm? His appeal? His _je ne sais quoi?_

He was ripped from his existential crisis by a tiny hand squeezing his good one, and he looked to see big green eyes reeling him back. Wisps of short brown hair - hair that he chopped - grazed her freckles.

"I love you more," she smiled knowingly, most likely enjoying his obvious discomfort. "But we should get you stitched up before you bleed all over the kitchen."


	12. Duck Hunting

**Duck Hunting**

"No." he answered for what felt like the thousandth time that hour. She shadowed him as he turned a corridor, the tiny taps of her feet barely echoing the heavy steps of his boots.

"Please, Eugene!" she begged, her small hands gripped together tightly in front of her. Sitting on top of her head, Pascal mirrored her begging. "Pleeeaaassseee!"

"Nah-uh," he grunted as he took a bite of his apple. "No way."

"It would mean so much to my father, Eugene!"

"I don't doubt that, but my head still being on my shoulders at the end of the day means more to me," he explained as he made his way down the main stairway of the palace, heading towards the door.

"He wouldn't do that; he likes you!"

"Well, that's an understatement," Eugene said, his mouth filled with apple. He smirked over his shoulder at her confused face. "Your dad loves me, it's the Captain that I'm worried about."

"Do you even know his name?"

"Nope, and I don't plan on learning it anytime soon," he took another bite of his apple before continuing. "Anyway, as much as I like your dad, the three of us on a hunting trip together cannot possibly end well."

"Hunting's just a sport," she explained, using the same excuse her tutor had after she learned about the hobby.

"Yeah, a sport that involves muskets," he scoffed. "And why are you so determined about this? You don't even like hunting."

He was right; she didn't. In fact, after that lesson about the "sport," she had gone right up to the King's sitting room to demand to know why he took so much pleasure in killing innocent animals. After calming her down a bit, he explained it to her a bit more gently. At the end of the day she still wasn't pleased with hunting, but at least she didn't picture her father as a ruthless murderer.

"Because it'd be a great way for you three to have some male-bonding time," she said as they neared the royal stables. Eugene had already discarded his apple core in the trash by the time they had reached Maximus. "Also, maybe you and the Captain can work out your differences."

"Pfft, fat chance," Eugene crossed his arms, turning to Maximus. "Could you picture me and Captain Mustache being chums over a day of hunting with the king?"

The horse didn't think twice before shaking his head. Eugene smirked, handing the horse the extra apple in his satchel. "I rest my case."

"But Eu—"

"Look, Rapunzel," he groaned, throwing his hands in the air, completely exasperated. "There are some things in this world that do not get along. Dogs do not like cats, cats do not like mice, and the Captain of the Guards does not like me. No, let me rephrase that, the Captain of the Guards hates me. He loathes me. During the Winter Ball, I had to sit next to him and the entire night we kicked each other in the shins. I refuse to hunt with that guy and that won't change no matter what you say or—"

Maximus head-butting him in the shoulder cut his monologue short. Annoyed, he looked over at the horse, who motioned to Rapunzel. He looked back see a disappointed look on her face. Instantly, he forgot about his rant.

"Hey," he asked tentatively. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well, I mean," she said quietly, her eyes focused on his boots as she hugged herself tightly. "I never thought you were scared of anything before..."

"Woah hold up," he interjected, his hand up motioning her to stop her thought. "I'm not scared; I just don't trust the Captain to play fair."

"It's okay, Eugene; you don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I'm really not scared."

"It's fine, don't worry-"

"Rapunzel, I'm serious! I am not scared of him!" he frowned, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "Look, if you really think this is going to work you have another thing coming."

"Don't worry." She smiled sadly, patting his arm. "I'll explain the situation to my father; he'll understand."

She pecked his cheek before turning back to the walkway leading up to the palace. As Pascal sat on her shoulder, she whispered to the tiny lizard: "Three...two...one..."

"Okay, okay," he groaned, rubbing his face in his hands. "Fine, I'll go on this stupid hunting trip."

"Oh Eugene, that's great!" she squealed, running back to him and covering his face with tiny kisses. "Thank you! Thank you!"

"Yeah, great," he frowned, not happy with the situation. "If the Captain tells you I didn't come back because I got eaten by a bear, don't believe him."

As Rapunzel hugged his middle, he looked over her shoulder to see Maximus beaming at him, mockingly.

"Yeah, laugh all you want," he smirked back. "Just wait until you find yourself a pretty little pony."**  
**


	13. Bribed

**Bribed**

The King stroked his beard pensively, trying to pinpoint the moment where everything went completely and utterly insane. Mounted on his horse, he watched as two grown men fought over Maximus, both trying to bribe the horse to be their's during their day of hunting. Well, more like afternoon of hunting, considering it's been taking so long for Maximus to choose a rider.

"C'mon Max, please," Eugene begged, reaching out to the white Stallion. "Think of all we've been through together!"

"Maximus," the Captain of the Guards, bellowed, "Remember your dignity!"

"We saved a Princess together!"

"We kept a kingdom crime free together!"

"Almost crime free," Eugene smirked at the Captain, who glared back irritably.

Torn between the two men, Maximus paced back and forth depending on their offers.

"I'll get you a bunch of nice, shiny apples," Eugene had bribed, luring Maximus his way.

"I'll get you a bunch of nice, shiny apples that I PAID FOR!" the Captain yelled, earning Maximus two gallops in his direction.

"I won't have you tie your mane up in those stupid knots!" Eugene called, earning Maximus's attention. "Your mane can be free to tousle in the wind!"

"How is that even an offer, Rider?" the Captain demanded, refusing to call him by his real name.

"I wouldn't expect of a man of your..._condition_ to understand how annoying it must be to keep one's hair up in those girly looking knots," Eugene answered, running a hand through his own hair.

"Are you...are you inferring something?" the Captain called, his face growing red with a mixture of embarrassment and fury.

"All I'm _inferring_ is that back at the dam when I knocked you out with a frying pan, I saw what you hide under your helmet," he grinned, as the Captain's mustache twitched in rage, "Or should I say, cover up?"

"Rider," the Captain growled, grinding his teeth together.

"Oh bother, have I said too much?"

"Your majesty!" The Captain hissed, turning to the King who looked surprised to be noticed during this standoff.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Permission to punch your son-in-law in the face, please?"

"Hmm," the King said, stroking his beard as he looked at Eugene who was making grabby-hand motions towards Maximus to lure him to his side while the Captain was preoccupied. "Permission denied, however in his defense the toupée you wore to the Holiday Ball was not fooling anyone, Captain."

The Captain growled, grabbing his helmet and began murmuring words that Eugene remembered from his etiquette classes were not very polite. The King cleared his throat and both men changed their attention to the only man on a horse.

"As amusing as this is," the King said, quite earnestly. "I really would like to get hunting before dinner time. I feel that the only fair option would be for both of you to give Maximus one final offer before he makes his decision."

Both men and horse nodded, and the Captain sent Eugene a sneer before turning to Maximus.

"Maximus," he began. "You are the palace's finest horse, a noble stead that has always upheld the law with both dignity and integrity. Now, I ask you to remember these values, and allow me, your Captain, to be your rider...and not this idiot!"

Maximus, with his chest puffed with pride, made his way to the Captain. How foolish he was to even doubt his alliance, he had always been a horse with a nose for justice. Eugene, while a Prince Consort, was still an ex-thief. It was only right for him to be ridden by his Captain, a man with respect for the law. He was stopped by Eugene clearing his throat loudly.

"Don't I get to make my offer?" he smiled deviously, as the Captain raised an eyebrow curiously.

"It better be good, Rider."

"Oh, it will be," Eugene said, as he swung his arm out and dramatically pointed at Maximus. "Max, if you allow me to be your rider I will..."

There was a pause, everyone stared at Eugene, waiting for his final offer. His grin grew to the point where it could only be described as manic, his index finger still in the air. The Captain snapped, his patience completely exhausted.

"OH, JUST GET ON WITH IT!"

"Max, I will..." he began again, just for spite. "Scratch that special spot behind your ear!"

The Captain's jaw dropped, as well as the King's as Maximus squealed in surprised, instantly running to Eugene's side. He eagerly scratched the white horse's ears, cooing.

"Yes, that'a boy," he laughed. "Rapunzel told me all about your little weakness! You know where it's at, huh? Don't ya, buddy?"

"Well, since that's settled, it seems you are left with the other horse, Captain," The King explained, motioning to the less enthusiastic looking brown horse. The Captain grumbled childishly, making his way to the horse. Looking up at the stead, he asked half jokingly.

"So, do you have a secret weakness too?"

The horse's nostrils flared, his pupils constricted, as he kicked the mustached man a good yard away. He was not amused by the joke, however the impact was enough to knock the Captain's helmet off, and the sight of his bald head was enough to make up for it.


	14. Reunion

**Reunion**

He shrugged it off like it was nothing, the fact that he had never seen his parents grave. They had been sitting in the palace garden, he was holding a wicker basket as the Queen taught her the proper way to garden. She looked up at him, dirt smudged on her face from her work.

"Never? Not even once?"

"Well, no," he admitted. "As soon as I heard that they died I was sent to the orphanage."

"That's so sad," she murmured, more to herself than to Eugene. Taking hold of his hand, she looked at her mother who patted his other affectionately. From the moment he had returned her daughter, the Queen had accepted him as family.

"Hey now, don't get upset," he smiled, trying to change the topic. "It happened so long ago I barely even remember it. Everything's great now."

Even though he laughed it off, and spent the remainder of the day teasing her and helping them garden, she knew there was more to the issue.

"Sadly, Eugene's case is not an uncommon one," her mother explained to her one afternoon during tea. "Many children who stay in orphanages no longer have any ties to their families."

"Are the children happy in the orphanages?"

"I cannot say, but I can only assume it's better than the alternative."

"What's that?"

"Homelessness."

As if overnight, all the kingdom's orphanages received a generous donation from an anonymous source. As well as new toys, school books and funding from the Royal Palace.

However Rapunzel's mind was still uneasy, as she noticed how Eugene stiffened ever so slightly at the mention of family. She knew his scars were still there, and would always be there, but felt that there had to be someway he could receive closure. He had reunited her with her family, she felt that the least she could do was return the favor.

Her quest began in the palace's library, and she would often leave for her room carrying armfuls of books at a time. Eugene had passed her during one of her endeavors, and instantly went to assist her. Rapunzel turned away from him abruptly.

"Don't worry, I have it."

"You sure?" he asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Positive," she huffed, and briskly walked past him, nervous he would ask more questions.

Eugene watched her leave and spotted Pascal trailing behind, pushing a thin pamphlet. He bent down to help him, but was met with a hiss as the chameleon turned a vicious shade of red.

The books stacked in her chambers, and after pages of Fitzherberts she could not seem to locate Eugene's family.

Rapunzel wasn't the type of Princess to flex her influence, but after disclosing her plan to her mother it seemed to be a useful resource. Within a week, the King had joyous told her that he had located the site she had been researching.

They were in the carriage the following day.

"So," Eugene began, arms crossed as Rapunzel twiddled her fingers on the other side of the carriage. They were the only two in the carriage, making their lack of conversation uncomfortable. "You're being strangely quiet and vague about this little trip."

"No, I'm not," she said, looking out the window to avoid his glance.

"Really? All right then, so where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

"And how long will that be?"

"Soon."

"How soon?"

"Very."

"On a scale of -"

"Eugene!"

"Don't 'Eugene!' me," he snapped, losing his patience. "For the last few weeks you've been up to something. I saw those books and know about your secret tea time with your mother, and I just want to know what's going on, since it's obvious about me."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm not allowed to know about it," he frowned. "You're a horrible liar, Rapunzel, so can you just tell me already."

The carriage lurched to a stop, as they both looked out the window to see that they had arrived at a graveyard. Eugene shot Rapunzel a hesitant look and she smiled.

"Don't worry," she smiled, patting his hand affectionately. "We're not here to bury you."

They climbed out of the carriage as Rapunzel took a basket from her seat. With her free hand she took Eugene's as they waded their way through the labyrinth of names.

As they walked, Eugene swallowed dryly. Graveyards made him uneasy, as they reminded him to his own mortality. Granted, he had cheated death once due to the help of a magical teardrop, but he doubted he would get that chance again. He thought back to his parents, and instantly it hit him why they were there and what Rapunzel had been plotting.

They stopped in front of a modest grave, hands still interlocked, and he looked down at her furiously. How dare she go behind his back to find his parents graves! He knew she must have used her influence as royalty to locate his parents site, knowing firsthand that their names were not listed in any public records or books - he had searched them all.

However, the moment he felt her tiny hand squeeze his and look up at him with teary green eyes, his anger melted away and he remembered why he could never stay mad at her. Slowly she let go of his hand, and opened the wicker basket revealing freshly cut flowers that she had gown. She made her way to the grave, brushing off debris revealing his parents names. Placing the flowers at the base, she folded her hands together, taking a deep breath.

"I've never been to a graveyard before," she spoke to the headstone. "So excuse me if I'm doing this wrong, Mr. and Mrs. Fitzherbert. You have such a nice spot here, though. There's a tree right next to you guys, and it must be beautiful in the autumn when the leave's colors change. I mean, it's spring now, but it still looks very pretty."

"Oh!" She stopped, putting her hand over her mouth embarrassed. "I'm being rude, I should introduce myself! My name is Rapunzel, and I'm in love with your son Eugene. I know it must sound crazy, but he took me on this wonderful adventure to see these floating lanterns and then there was this whole deal with me being trapped in a tower and he recused me...gosh, I'm rambling now aren't I? Well, I know there's so much to catch up on, but I think I should tell you the most important thing," she smiled as she revealed her hand, an engagement ring sparkled in the sunlight.

"Eugene asked me to marry him a few weeks ago, and I wanted to share the good news with you. I know you were probably worried for him for a while there, with him being a wanted thief and all, but he's truly one of the most magnificent people I've ever met. He's smart, brave, loyal, and always makes me feel loved. I'm sure that's because he had such great parents, I'm sorry I never had the chance to meet you. I know you're always watching him though, and I hope you can watch me too." She paused before whispering. "Don't worry though, I'll take good care of him down here. I'll make sure to look out for him so he doesn't get into any more trouble."

She looked over her shoulder to see that Eugene had his head down, his face covered by his bangs. His fist clenched together, as his shoulder shook slightly. Climbing to her feet, she went to his side as he embraced her tightly, burying his face in her hair.


	15. Small Dreams

**Small Dreams**

To keep the children positive, the Head Mistress at the Orphanage would ask them every few months to share their hopes, and dreams. The exercise was seen as therapeutic, giving the children goals to keep them on track. Some children would illustrate their dreams through pictures or paintings, others would act them out through role-play. The children seemed to enjoy the project. All but one child, Eugene Fitzherbert, did not respond well to the exercise, or anything for that matter.

Since his arrival, the young boy kept to himself. Quiet, reserved, he was ignored by most of the children as well as staff. However, the Head Mistress took interest in the boy, hoping to pull him out of his shell.

"Eugene," she said softly one night. "Would you like to come downstairs with the other children?"

Curled into a ball on his cot, Eugene stared at the wall, unresponsive. The Head Mistress sighed, and looked around the room for something, anything, to gain his attention. Her eyes landed at an old book, battered and torn from cycles of children. From his performances during lessons, she knew Eugene was smart, and decided to take a chance on the book.

"Well, if you are not going to join the rest of us downstairs," she said, taking the book from the shelf. "Then the least you can do with your time is read while you're up here."

She plopped the heavy hardcover onto the cot, shaking the bed and him along with it. Curiously, he looked over his shoulder slightly to see the title.

"_The Tales of Flynnigan Ryder_," she announced, smiling. "Many of the other boys that have...spent time here, have enjoyed this book. It's filled with adventure, you like adventure, don't you Eugene?"

The young boy turned in his bed, staring up at her with bored, brown eyes. He kicked the book swiftly from his cot, and didn't flinch when it landed on the floor with a thump. His eyes met that of the Head Mistress's, silently daring her to try to put that book on him again.

She was unfazed. After years of handling the orphanage, she had dealt with every type of child, and was never once did she back down from a difficult one.

"All right, Eugene," she said, tapping her foot in annoyance. "I'll make a deal with you."

The Head Mistress noted that she was making headway when Eugene cocked an eyebrow - a habit that would follow him into adulthood.

"For every chapter that you read," she said picking up the book from the ground, and wiping the dust from its cover. "I shall give you a piece of candy. Any of your liking."

The young boy remained silent, still not finding the Head Mistress to be entirely trustworthy. However, he looked at the book, considering her offer, which she took as progress.

"I'll just leave this here for you," she said, dropping the book back onto the cot before turning to leave the room. "Come find me later with your decision."

Later that night she was awakened by a tiny knock on her door. Jumping to her feet, she wrapped herself in a robe before answering the door. She was greeted with a the tiny form of Eugene, clutching the novel tightly to his chest with one arm and holding out his palm towards her with his other.

"I read 10 chapters," he said, cooly. Bags sat under his eyes, but they no longer seemed bored. "That will be 10 pieces of candy, please."

The next few weeks, Eugene's nose was always planted in the book. Chucking it around with him wherever he went, many of the other orphans began to take notice.

One afternoon, the Head Mistress watched as one of the older boys made his way up to Eugene, demanding him to tell him what was so great about "some stupid old book". The woman expected a fight to break out, but was shocked to see Eugene not only answer the boy, but read him parts of the story as well. By the time she returned outside to call the children in for supper, she was greeted with the sight of Eugene not reading to the just the one boy, but to the entire playground.

Their deal lasted outside of just the _Flynnigan Ryder_ book, and early each morning she would take Eugene to the small candy shop in town to pick his treat. While she knew the bribe had been created to start Eugene on a path back to social recovery, she knew the reading and candy visits were things that Eugene throughly enjoyed. The Head Mistress also knew she would lying if she said that seeing Eugene's eyes light up as he hurried around the shop, asking what each candy was with such energy was not something she thoroughly enjoyed.

They had just finished one of their morning candy runs when news spread that the Princess had been kidnapped the previous night. Eugene watched as a herald spoke loudly to the townspeople. Not wanting the rubber neck, the Head Mistress took his hand to lead him back to the orphanage. The boy pulled away, and sprinted around the crowd wanting to hear the story of the Kingdom's newly lost Princess.

"Eugene!" she called after his retreating form. "Get back here this instant!"

Her calls and threats were ignored as Eugene pushed his way through the crowd. Still too small to see, he looked up to see a tall pile of stacked crates from the shop next to the Herald's perch. Bobbing out of the crowd, he effortlessly climbed to the top of the tall crates, and listened with wide, excited eyes.

Later on, the Head Mistress would beat the living daylights out of him for his disorderly conduct, but she had to admit she was impressed by his agility. Not that she would ever tell him that.

The next month, the Head Mistress again asked the orphans about their dreams, only this time Eugene was not silent. It was hard to even imagine that such a talkative, energetic child had ever been near mute, and holed up in his bed. When asked what his dream was, he smiled widely, puffed out his chest in an act to seem buff and exclaimed proudly.

"I'm gonna save the lost Princess!"

The children bursted out into mixes of "That's dumb!" and "Hey, no fair, I was gonna say that!". Before the chatter got out of hand, the Head Mistress quieted them all by dropping a heavy textbook on the ground.

The Head Mistress always remembered that exchange, even when Eugene Fitzherbert the orphan grew into Flynn Rider the thief. Years later, when the Princess was finally returned and the Kingdom rejoiced, she wondered if he remembered as well.


	16. Uncanny

**Uncanny**

"You know," Rapunzel says, as she presses napkin filled with ice against Eugene's face. "I really can't help but wonder how you managed to survive this long without me."

"Excuse me?" he retorts from his seat on an old tree stump, his voice nasal from the blood in his nose. "I was doing quite well before you came here."

"Oh, really?" she says, her voice laced with fake disbelief.

"Yes, really," he continues. "We were just having a nice, clean game of cards. It just got a little out of hand."

"A little?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Yes. There was just a bit of a disagreement."

"It looked more like a brawl by the time Maximus brought me here."

He sees Maximus and Pascal nod in agreement from behind Rapunzel.

"You say tomato, I say tomah-OW!" he whines, as she adding a bit too much pressure on the ice. "Easy with that!"

"Sorry, my hand slipped," she smiles, innocently. "So what caused this..._disagreement_?"

"It was more of a misunderstanding really," he explains, his brown eyes are beginning to bruise underneath. She wonders if his nose his broken, but decides to keep quiet in fear of freaking him out. "There were some accusations of foul play involved."

"You cheated didn't you?" she asks, her face sporting a deadpan expression. An expression he knows she picked up from him.

"Wha...how could...why, Rapunzel, I am shocked!" he gasps theatrically, folding his arms. "After all this time being together, you honestly think I would cheat?"

Maximus snorts from his spot on the grass and Pascal smirks from his perch on the horse's head. Eugene would glare at them angrily if his face was not currently being smothered by a wet napkin.

"You're right," she says, smiling sweetly. He smiles as well as she kisses his cheek tenderly before adding. "After all this time being with you, I _know_ you would cheat. Shake out your sleeves."

"What?" he gapes like a fish out of water, her ice still on his face.

She frowns a little, silently daring him to disagree with her. He notices how easily their makeshift icepack can change into a tool of suffocation, and reluctantly undoes his cuff, revealing cards.

"Eugene!" she yells, looking down at the cards then back at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Well, I don't know," he rolls his eyes. "To not lose, perhaps?"

"But they're our friends!"

"Your friends, maybe," he adds, thumbing the tavern. "They don't like me."

"They liked you enough to break you out of prison!" she points out. "The least you can do play a clean game of cards!"

"Oh, please," he laughs, he would snort if his nose wasn't filled with blood. "Everyone was cheating in there. Y'know, Hook hand? Well, he had an entire extra deck hidden! In his hook, no less!"

She frowns, the freckles on the bridge of her nose wrinkling. He stares at her, long enough to feel that the ice under her hand was nearly melted. He knows it's not the card game itself that upset her, but that he cheated. Rapunzel didn't hate many things, but lying and cheating were two things she couldn't stand.

With her free hand, she wipes the dribbles of water residue on his face from the wet napkin away with a dry one. He takes her hand in his, and intertwines their fingers, the napkin tucked between their palms. He feels like an idiot for having her come all the way out there to drag him out of the brawl (not that he needed her help or anything) and he feels like a bigger idiot for disappointing her.

"I shouldn't have held cards," he admits, his guilty expression hidden by her napkin. "I'll go inside apologize to the guys for cheating."

"Good," she smiles, pecking his lips lightly. "You'll need some more ice anyway to hold you over until we can get back to the Kingdom to fix your nose."

"It better not be broken," he grumbles, taking hold of the wet napkin as he follows her inside.

The thugs greet Rapunzel warmly as she enters the pub, and grumble and swear as Eugene saunters in behind her.

"Now everyone, Eugene has something to say to you all about the card game," she smiles as she makes her way to the barkeep to ask for some more ice.

"Um...yeah," he begins, dropping the sopping napkin on a dirty table. He run his hand gingerly across his nose. To his dismay, it feels a bit swollen. "I shouldn't have cheated...it was wrong...and not fair."

He looks at the crowd of thugs in front of him, all of which were looking at him with the outmost attention. He feels more than a little uncomfortable, wondering why they all took so much interest in his apology. Even Shorty picks up his face from the puddle of booze he was sleeping in, his bloodshot eyes focusing on Eugene.

"So, yes," he continues, the pads of his fingers together in front of him awkwardly. "Cheating is bad, and I shouldn't have done it...so let's just put this whole ordeal behind us and move on!"

He finishes his speech by putting his hands on his hips, trying his best to smile with his face feeling like it's about the fall off. Everyone is still looking at him though, and nobody is blinking. He turns his head to look at Rapunzel, who is covering her mouth with both her hands. And was she...was she giggling?

Raising an eyebrow he turns back to the thugs, and it is Shorty who is the first to call out, "WELL LOOKIT DERE, HE LOOKS JUST LIKE THE WANTED POSTER NOW, HUH?"

"Wanted poster?" he repeats. He hasn't been wanted in months, and as the thugs burst into laughter it hits him.

His nose.

Rapunzel hurries to his side with a napkin filled with more ice, as well as a hand mirror from Gunter's entire design collection upstairs. She holds the mirror in front of them, reflecting his swollen nose as well as his old wanted poster that's hanging behind them.

"Well, at least you can't say they never got your nose right."


	17. Ruse

**Ruse**

"Need a little help down there, Princess?" he grinned from the branch above her.

Since she was no longer blonde, the nicknames "Blondie" or "Goldie" didn't really work anymore. It was a new nickname, one he could get away with now that she was a Princess. Not that anyone would recognize that the young woman attempting to climb a tree for the last 25 minutes was anywhere close to royalty.

"No, I'm fine, thanks," she huffed, walking back a few feet before charging at the tree trunk. She leaped, latching onto the trunk determinedly, trying to somehow hook her tiny feet around the bark to climb. Her efforts were in vain - again - and she slowly slid down to the grass below - again.

She frowned and pouted at the tree, like it would somehow change her fate. As if the tree would notice how hard she had be trying to climb it, and take pity on her. Allowing her to finally climb its bark and access its branches. He had made it look so easy.

While she had been struggling to climb the tree, Eugene had lifted himself to its branches effortlessly. As he sat on the lowest branch he raised an eyebrow at her with a look that red, "You comin' or what?" which frustrated her to the point where she had stopped talking to him, focusing all her energy on getting up the tree.

Pascal had also climbed the tree with ease, but he was chameleon so she wasn't frustrated with him. Also, he wasn't being a jerk.

Rapunzel used to have magical hair that glowed, and not just a little of it. There was 70 feet of it and situations like this all that hair came in handy. She didn't have that tool anymore, and instead had to use her own strength (or in some cases a ladder) to reach such high places.

"Want me to pull you up?" Eugene offered lamely, raising an eyebrow.

She sent him a look that would scare the Thugs at the Snuggly Duckling.

"Fine," he said, raising both his hands in the air in defeat. "Do it your way."

She pulled herself up, wiping the dirt away from her dress like a lady, before walking extremely far away from the tree. She was so far, in fact, that Eugene thought she had given up climbing the tree all together. Then she spun around, staring at the tree with sheer determination.

Her eyes closed as she took a few deep breaths before she bounded. Racing towards the trunk at such a speed that her tiny form was barely visible, only a pink blur from her dress. She reached the tree quickly, jumping towards the trunk with one foot out, kicking herself upwards as she grabbed the branch, pulling herself up with both arms. She hung for a moment, and Eugene leaned over about to help.

"No..." she grunted, her legs flailing as she slowly hoisted herself to the branch. "I...can...do this."

He watched as she did, pulling herself up slowly, hooking one leg at a time over the branches. She looked around amazed by her own accomplishment, a feat she was able to do without her hair.

"I did it," she grinned, swinging her legs from the branches. Pascal climbing quickly to her side to nuzzle into her neck, while squeaking congratulatory squeaks. "I really did it."

Not nearly as excited as she, Eugene gave her a golf clap. His branch was hanging nicely over one of the Castle's small ponds. The sunlight reflected off the water and up on his face, showing his relaxed features, and the fact that he couldn't care less about her winning battle with the tree.

"You were bound to get it eventually," he said, deciding to take a nap now that she was safely on the branch. "Just be careful if you go any higher, I don't want to have to explain to your folks while you're all smashed up. Might think I put you up to this."

Rapunzel looked up at the branches above her, wondering if it'll be just at hard to climb those as it was the first one. Lightly touching her hair, she remembered how easy it was to pull herself to the tops of the tower to paint. Extending her hand, she reached up, ironically missing the liberty her hair had given her, only to remember that with that 70 foot safety harness came baggage. Baggage that she had happily - though forcefully - abandoned to live a new life, with a certain ex-thief who was peacefully snoring away on the adjacent branch.

She frowned at him stupid sleeping form on his stupid branch. Didn't he see that she was having a revelation about her life? Didn't he see that this was kinda of big deal for her? Sure, climbing trees was easy for him, with his upper body strength. His arms alone held more muscle than her entire body!

Growing more annoyed she thought back to how he kept offering to help her in that Flynn-Rider-tone he took whenever he was being snarky. He didn't think she could do it, and there she was sitting on her branch triumphantly with only her own strength to thank, and not his stupid muscly arms.

His stupid nicely toned muscly arms.

She shook the idea out of her head, looking up to see a low hanging branch between them. Closing one eye and measuring with her thumb, she figured she could most likely make the jump from her side and swing over to Eugene's easily. She climbed to her feet slowly, grabbing onto surround branches and the tree's trunk for support.

"What are you up to?" Eugene asked, eyes still closed.

"Nothing," she answered, already mid-leap. She grabbed the middle branch with ease.

"You're making too much noise for it to be nothing." He opened his eyes just in time to see her come at him, the force of her tiny feet knocking him off his branch and down towards the pond below. "GAH!"

He fell with a splash, and Rapunzel laughed at the dunk. Pascal squeaked in amusement, and Maximus snorted from his shady spot on the grass below. The exchange with the Princess had been comical, but any misfortune to come to Eugene was always hilarious.

After a few moments waiting for him to emerge from the surface, she rolled her eyes and sighed, "Okay Eugene, you can stop being dramatic now."

The bubbles had stopped floating, and the water was a bit too still for Rapunzel's comfort. She ran a hand through her hair, looking at Pascal for reassurance. The chameleon looked just as nervous. Maximums was already on his feet, peering over the pond for Eugene.

"Eugene, this isn't funny!" she cried, jumping from her branch to the ground. "Stop it!"

Maximus neighed loudly, stomping his hooves on the ground angrily. Rapunzel swallowed drily, running her hands through her hair. She cried his name again, panicked tears rimming her eyes. When suddenly bubbles appeared and Eugene's face emerged from the surface, grinning wildly.

"Eugene?" she gasped, about to throw herself at him. However, she noticed the spark in his eyes a little too late. Rapunzel squealed loudly as he grabbed her arms, pulling her to join him in the pond.

While her dress was heavy under the water, he had a good grip on her waist when she emerged. As she gasped for air, trying to wipe the murky pond water from her eyes, she felt the rumbling of his chest from his laughter.

"You don't give me enough credit."

Of course Eugene _would _be able to hold his breath for that long...the jerk. As she pouted in vain, he kissed the top of her drenched hair. He held her close, as he swam backwards along the perimeter of the pond. Not wanting to lose her, his hold around her tightened, allowing her to run her hands up his arms.

He really did have nice arms.


	18. If You Must Ask

**If You Must Ask**

"Rider, what the hell are you doing up there?"

Eugene opened an eye lazily, looking down from his napping place. He had been lounging on top of one of the castle's outer walls, partly because it was the sunniest place in the palace, but mostly because he could. He looked down at the Captain of the Guards, who glared up at him, annoyed.

"Napping; what does it look like?"

"It looks like you're being an idiot, as usual," he growled. "Get down from there; we have visitors coming to the palace today and the last thing they need to see is you sleeping on the walls!"

"Says you," he scoffed, closing his eyes again. "After days of those women traveling in a stuffy carriage, I'll be a sight for sore eyes."

"They're all men."

"Eh," he shrugged. "Whatever floats their boats. As long as they don't try anything funny, I'm cool with them looking."

"Rider!"

"Ugh, all right, all right," he groaned, realizing the Captain was not going to let him finish his nap. He climbed down the wall as easily as he did up, jumping off in front of the Captain with his hands in the air.

"Ta da!" he grinned until he noticed that the Captain was not amused. "Oh, c'mon; you gotta admit that was a little impressive."

"You're an idiot, Rider."

"Y'know, you always say that, but I really think there's more behind this whole you not liking me thing," he said, rubbing his chin with his hand. "Maybe we should have an airing of grievances."

"Maybe you should go play in traffic." He marched off, continuing his patrol around the castle.

Eugene followed him, hands behind his head lazily. The Captain ignored Eugene, finding it to be an easier way to deal with him than to actually speak with him.

Turning a corner, the Captain went onward, taking routes that were out of the way and confusing to those who had not been trained to understand all the passageways of the caste. However, Eugene still followed. When he stopped, Eugene stopped. When he turned left, Eugene turned left. Every move the Captain made was mirrored by Eugene… and it was extremely irritating.

"Could you stop that?"

"Only when you tell me what your deal is."

"My deal?"

"I know we've had our troubled times in the past, but I think you've taken this grudge against me a bit too far." Eugene frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "Everyone else has accepted me, but you're still being a stick in the mud."

"You really think I'm going start trusting you after years of chasing you down?" He snorted. "Don't hold your breath."

"You should at least give me a chance! Whenever I do anything your mustache flares out and you throw a fit!"

"I do not throw a fit and I only care about what you do when it compromises the well-being of the Princess," he snarled, turning back to his route. "And my mustache does not flare."

"Yes, it does," Eugene persisted, following him again while mimicking the action of a mustache flaring with his hand on his face.

"No, it does not," he growled, not turning back to face him. "And on that note, stop bringing up my mustache."

"Is that why you don't like me? Because I make fun of your goofy looking mustache?"

"What did I just—" The Captain stopped, feeling his mustache begin to twitch.

Taking a deep breath, he calmed down in an attempt to clear his thinking. He wasn't going to let Eugene get the best of him; he was better than that. After a moment, he decided that the best way to deal with Eugene would be to give the man a taste of his own annoying medicine.

"Rider, your obsession with my facial hair is growing to be a bit concerning," he said, finally turning to the ex-thief. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous."

"JEALOUS?" Eugene shrieked at the absurdity of it all. "Me? Jealous? Are you serious?"

"I'm just calling it as I see it."

"Well, then you are not seeing 'it' clearly, my friend." He smirked, motioning to himself. "Because 'it' is looking pretty dang good."

"Really? Because I see that 'it' is not sporting a mustache, only a measly soul-patch." The Captain's grin was barely hidden under his own facial hair. "Could it be that you only have that because you can't grow a mustache?"

"I could so grow a mustache!"

"Let me rephrase that, since anyone could grow a mustache. Even my mother-in-law can grow a mustache. The issue here is," the Captain's grin could only be described as sinister at this point, loving the idea of using Eugene's own vanity against him, "could you pull it off?"

They stood in silence, the Captain's bait dropped on the table. He watched him, eager to see if he would pick it up.

"Is this a challenge, Captain?" Eugene asked flatly.

"It could be if you want it to be, Rider."

"Then I have one request." Eugene held up his index finger before pointing it at the Captain. "After I grow this mustache and pull it off, you have to start treating me with respect and acknowledge me as part of the royal family."

"Fine, and when you don't, I'll continue to ridicule your idiotic behavior and outwardly hate your guts."

The men shook hands firmly, and Eugene left to go grow his mustache.

Even though the first stages of growing a mustache were always awkward, it didn't seem so bad at first. Rapunzel and her family were away on some diplomatic trip, so Eugene didn't have to worry about the Princess questioning his lack of shaving. Granted, he knew he would find his mustache undeniably sexy when it fully came-in, but at the moment the stubbly roughness of his upper lip may be a bit of a turn off.

As the days passed, his mustache thickened, and began to link with his soul-patch, creating a goatee. Eugene felt a little funny about having the same facial hair as the King, but decided since the King was away it would be all right to borrow the look for the time being.

However, it was hot in Corona and the goatee was a making his face sweaty and itchy. Also, he didn't like how a couple of the servants were looking at him with the goatee so he decided to shave his chin, leaving only the mustache behind.

"It's weird seeing my chin," he said through the mirror at Pascal, who had also stayed at the Palace, the warmth of the Kingdom being more comfortable than some foreign embassy. "I feel like I've had that beard forever."

The chameleon nodded, feeling that if the webbing beneath his chin was ever shaved it would probably be weird.

Eugene was lounging in the sitting room, reading the paper when news of the royal family's return erupted through the halls. The servants and handmaidens made their way inside, carrying luggage from the carriage, and the sound of running echoed through the halls.

"Eugene! Pascal!" Rapunzel called. The sound of her feet padding along the marble floor echoed as her shoes were discarded the moment she entered the palace. "We're home!"

She ran down the corridor leading to Eugene's sitting room and was quickly greeted by Pascal jumping from Eugene's head to her.

"Hi, Pascal; I've missed you!" she cooed, scratching the chameleon affectionately. "Was Eugene good while I was gone?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Eugene said, flipping the paper closed and tossing it onto the end table. Rapunzel laughed, and turned to see him when her laughter was replaced by a scream.

"WHAT IS THAT?" She yelled, covering her mouth with her hand.

"WHAT?"

"ON YOUR FACE!'

"Wha… oh, you mean my mustache!" Eugene grinned, twirling the ends. "You like?"

"NO!"

"Huh?" His face fell, his mustache drooping sadly. "What do you mean 'no'?'"

"I mean, no, I don't like it!'"

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"You look..." She bit her thumbnail, trying to think of the word. "You look… old!"

The phrase hit him like a punch in the gut, he felt the air leave his body.

He looked old? Old? Him? He was barely halfway out of his 20s, and she was calling him old? He turned to one of the wall mirrors that decorated the room to take a look at himself. The mustache that graced his upper lip added an air of maturity to him; however, the second he saw Rapunzel's youthful face peek from behind him, the contrast finally hit.

He could pass for her Uncle, and it really freaked him out.

Eugene jumped from his seat like it was on fire, marching out of the room and up the stairs.

"Eugene," she called up the stairs after him. "Where are you going?"

"To shave," he answered.

And take a long shower.

Soon after his upper-lip was bare again, Eugene went back to growing his soul-patch and the Captain went back to insulting him on a regular basis. While his realization about his mustache threw him, he still didn't like the idea of not being able to pull off the facial hair.

"For the record," Rapunzel smiled, curling her arms around his neck as they sat in his bed. "I think your soul-patch is way more attractive than any mustaches I've ever seen."

In the end, he figured that's all that really mattered.

* * *

Hey readers, I've been a pretty quiet author for most of these chapters but I just wanted to thank all of you for reviewing, adding this to your favorites, and your alerts. You're all amazing, and I can't thank you all enough for taking time out to read this thing! I also wanted to thank _DannysGhostWriter_ for beta-reading this and future chapters because...spelling? Grammar? What is that? Again, you're all fantastic and I would've stopped writing this thing after its first chapter if it wasn't for you all. I do this for you guys.


	19. Litter

**Litter**

"What is that?" Eugene asked from an arm chair in their sitting room, using a rolled up newspaper to point at the slobbering creature that his wife had brought into the castle.

"Remember how Big Nose got married a few weeks ago?" she smiled, sitting on the floor at his feet as the small animal panting, licking her face and wagging its tail.

"Bits and pieces," he answered honestly, the thugs knew how to throw a party even though Eugene couldn't remember most of it.

"Well, they're away on their honeymoon so we're dog-sitting for them."

"Since when did they even have a dog?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at the energetic puppy circling his feet.

"It was a wedding present."

"Who gives a puppy as a wedding present?" his question was interrupted when he suddenly felt something wet and warm on his boots. Looking down he quickly learned that the puppy was a boy puppy.

"GAH!" he shrieked, swatting the puppy with the newspaper as Rapunzel quickly pulled it away. "BAD WEDDING PRESENT! BAD!"

Telling him to calm down because the puppy didn't know any better, she took his newspaper from his hand to quickly create a makeshift bathroom for the dog. He watched in awe as she glazed at the puppy with undying love and devotion. Even though it wasn't her dog and just peed on her husband's shoes, she was unfazed.

As the dog finished his business, Rapunzel informed Eugene that it would be best if he changed his boots before dinner.

Later on that night he would learn that the puppy's name was Barnaby.

"Barnaby?" he echoed as he joined Rapunzel in bed, Pascal climbing from her head to his shoulder, mimicking Eugene's confused look. "Who names their puppy Barnaby?"

"Well, what else would they name him?" she asked as she pet the puppy lovingly.

"I don't know, maybe something more dog-like. Why not Spot or Fido?" he leaned down to closely inspect the dog, who tilted his head dumbly at Eugene. "Or Pisser?"

"I think Barnaby is a wonderful name," she smiled, taking Pascal from his shoulder and nuzzling him. "Just like Pascal or Eugene."

"...I guess," he finished, not really knowing how to argue with logic like that. Looking down at the foot of the bed, he noticed that Barnaby was curled comfortably at their feet. "Although if it pisses on our bed, I'm kicking it off the balcony."

"Relax Eugene," she sighed, snuggling into the comforter. "Barnaby's a good puppy, he wouldn't do that."

Barnaby was not a good puppy, however, and peed on the bed. As well as the rug, the curtains, the walls, the portraits, and Eugene's favorite sitting chair.

"What the hell is wrong with this dog?" Eugene asked, noticing how every one of his boots smelled like urine. "Why does it pee everywhere?"

From their bed, Rapunzel was nose-deep in an Obedience Training book.

"The book says it could be because he's getting excited..."

"So calm him down then," he grumbled picking up a freshly drenched throw pillow.

"Or he could be marking his territory."

"Okay fine," he mumbled, throwing the pillow in Barnaby's direction. "It's all yours!"

The puppy scurried away from the pillow before padding back and barking at Eugene. He made a threatening motion with his hand just as Rapunzel lifted the small dog from the floor, bringing him onto the bed with her.

"What's the matter Barnaby? Are you scared of Eugene? Aw it's okay, you can calm down now he won't hurt you."

"All right, hold the phone, time out," Eugene frowned making the universal timeout sign with his hands. "You always do this!"

"Do what?" she asked as Barnaby licked her face affectionately.

"This!" he fumed pointing to the scene in front of him. "You always find these poorly behaved animals and defend their actions!"

"Is this about your boots?" she asked raising an eyebrow his way. "Because Barnaby didn't mean-"

"Aha! See! You're doing it right now!" he turned away from her mimicking her voice poorly, "'Oh Eugene, the dog didn't mean to pee on your boots he was just playing! Oh Eugene, Pascal just pooped in your pocket because you scared him when you slammed the door! Oh Eugene, Maximus isn't trying to kill you! He's just a little overprotective, but he's just a big sweetheart!'"

"Well, he is," Rapunzel said, turning away from Eugene mumbling, "And I don't sounds like that."

"Really? Cause you do when you make excuses and make me look like an idiot!"

"Are you seriously getting mad at me because I don't freak out when these things happen to you?"

"A little," he answered, pointing at his boots. "I mean, I would like to see a little bit of repercussion for things like this."

"Maybe if you weren't such a jerk they'd be nicer to you."

"Oh, so now I'm a jerk because I'm not enabling the dog to pee on my boots?"

"Stop calling it 'the dog'," Rapunzel yelled. Fed up with his fighting she jumped to her feet, puppy in hand. "His name is Barnaby!"

"His name is stupid, Rapunzel!" Eugene yelled louder, pointing at the dog in fury. "And why do you care? He isn't even our dog!"

"Because he's a living thing and deserves to be treated with some sort of decency," she stomped her barefoot on the marble flooring for emphasis. "Does that make sense, or do you think it's more of my stupid enabling again?"

Eugene stared at her face, knowing full-well that the smart thing to do would be to back off and let her finish her puppy-sitting duties as she saw fit. He could easily ignore the dog and its habit to pee on things, but he really didn't want to. He was mad that the dog was running amuck and he was mad that all his shoes smelled like urine, but most of all he was mad that Rapunzel would rather take a dog's (not even her dog at that) side over his own. Weren't they married? Didn't she owe him that?

"The latter," he answered, and regretted it the moment he said it.

"Fine then," she turned on her heel, marching out of the bedroom. "If I'm so stupid, then I'll just take Barnaby and go elsewhere."

"F-fine!" he stammered, out of steam but not wanting her to have the last word.

"FINE!" she yelled over her shoulder, because she was just as stubborn as he was. She slammed the door behind her as she left, and reminding Eugene that they were in the bedroom. Running to the closet, he slammed its door just as hard. However his door slam didn't seem to have the same effect as Rapunzel's, leaving him feeling alone and stupid.

Later that night, Eugene slept fitfully in their bed. Spreading his arm to Rapunzel's empty side depressed him, keeping him up with the reminder that he was the reason he was alone. Rolling to her side, he face planted his face into her pillow, smelling her scent and missing her like a lost puppy.

Then he remembered why they were fighting and rolled back to his side, staring outside the window.

Unlike most couples, when Eugene and Rapunzel fought (which was rare) it was not Eugene who was sent to sleep on the sofa, but Rapunzel who willingly locked herself in one of the palace's towers. The one across from their bedroom window, and directly in Eugene's line of vision.

During their first few months in the castle, Rapunzel had turned the tower into her own personal art studio, covering the walls with painting of her parents, the pub thugs, Maximus, Pascal and of course the two of them. It was world entirely her own, where she would stay to curl up with a few books, play chess with Pascal or show him how to play Guitar (he'd always secretly wanted to learn).

"It's like my Tower only better," she had explained as she curled herself into his lap as they relaxed on the Tower's floors, watching stars through her makeshift sunroof above, "I can come and go whenever I want."

It was also the place she locked herself up after the two of them would have a fight. Turning slightly from his pillow, he saw that her Tower's lights were still on, and he silently wondered what she as doing up so late. Was she painting the dog? Trying to train it? Ranting about what a jerk he was as the dog peed all over her things?

He as ripped from his thoughts when the bedroom door opened with a creak. Sitting up eagerly Eugene looked to see the intruder.

"Rapunzel?" he asked, desperately. To his disappointment, a squeak was heard, revealing Pascal to be his bedroom guest and not his wife. He flopped back onto his pillow, grumbling curses under his breath as the tiny lizard made his way onto his bed and next to his ear.

"Did she send you here to bother me?" he asked, face smooched into his pillow.

Pascal shook his head, instead he mimicked a dog peeing followed by a face of disgusts.

"Heh, you don't like the mutt either?" he joked as Pascal nodded. "You wanna crash with me tonight?"

Pascal agreed with a shrug, as if to say, 'it's either stay with you or get peed on, so why not?'

As the tiny lizard curled up happily against Eugene's hand, the ex-thief absentmindedly began to pet the lizard as he stared out the window at Rapunzel's tower.

Somehow, he had manage to fall asleep. The only hint to that being that the next morning he woke up feeling even more tired than ever. With his face still planted in his pillow, he felt the bed for any trace of Pascal. When he came back empty handed, he assumed the chameleon had left to find his mistress.

Eugene couldn't help feeling a little used, but the feeling was short lived as he heard a few handmaidens gather at his door, talking rapidly in low tones.

Climbing to his feet lazily, he dressed as he eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Have you seen the Princess this morning? I hear she's absolutely frantic!"

"Well, that's not particularly unusually...Princess Rapunzel is rather energetic."

"I don't think it's her usual boundless energy, especially considering her and Prince Eugene are in the mist of an argument."

"You don't say! They hardly fight! Which is surprising considering how stubborn Prince Eugene is!"

Eugene snorted as he buttoned his top. Him? Stubborn? Please!

"Well, Princess Rapunzel isn't always the easiest to deal with. She's a sweetheart, of course, but she does have her moments."

"You could say that again," Eugene murmured as he rolled his eyes at his reflection.

"Anyway, they'll patch things up. I've never seen a couple more in love with one another than those two. What I really wanted to talk about was that nasty dog the Princess is watching."

"Oh god, you mean the one that's constantly urinating? I swear it's like it has a never ending supply of fluid!"

"Right, but apparently the little scamp's gone missing!"

"Good, keep it missing!" one of the handmaidens scoffed and Eugene couldn't agree more.

"Oh wait, do you think that's why Princess Rapunzel's been running around the palace? To find the dog?"

"It seems so," Eugene heard one of the handmaidens sighed as he neared the door. "I feel a little bad for the dear, she really does care about that dog...even though it is a little monster."

"Good morning, ladies," Eugene grinned cheekily as he opened his door, leaning against the frame.

"Oh!" the handmaidens gasped, stepping back a bit in embarrassment. "Good morning, your majesty."

"Since you seem to know the 411 around the castle this morning," he smiled, as the women blushed. "You wouldn't happen to know where my lovely and agreeable spouse has scurried off to?"

"Um..well, the last anyone has seen her she was on her way to the main library."

"Thanks a lot," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and he left. "Carry on, and don't forget the part where you giggle over how dashing and charming I am!"

He made his way towards the Library slowly, dreading the inevitable confrontation with Rapunzel.

Passing a mirror, he stopped in his tracks realizing the idiocy of his situation. He wasn't some whipped dog, he was a Prince Eugene Fitzherbert. People of the Kingdom looked up to him (kinda), and respected him (sort of). Who was he to take orders from his wife? Marriage was a partnership and like most ships, it had a captain. Which was him, of course!

He planned the entire exchange in his head. Dashingly, he would enter the room, using his most attractive smolder and order Rapunzel to stop searching for the dog, and that it was gone forever and that she should stop wasting her time. Rapunzel's tough resolve would crumble - due to the steer handsomeness of his presentation - and run to his arms, telling him how he was right all along and apologizing for being so stubborn and making him feel so guilty that he couldn't sleep.

Adjusting his vest in the mirror, he tousled his hair just right and prepared to storm into the library. He got as far at the door, where he stopped the moment he heard Rapunzel's tiny voice. Like a cookie in milk, he crumbled, no longer having the guts to even enter the room.

Since when did he become so pathetic?

Cracking the door slightly, he settled on eavesdropping before making any sort of scene.

"The Cook said he saw Barnaby run in here," he heard her whisper to who must have been Pascal. "I don't seen any sign of him do you?

Pascal squeaked and Rapunzel explained, "You know the Cook, it was the one with the really curly mustache?

Another squeak, this one less pleasant. "What? He tried to turn you into soup? Why would he do that?"

A long, irritated bunch of squeaks came next, with Rapunzel interjecting a few "Really?" and "No ways!" in between.

"Well, I have to talk with him then," she huffed before gasping. "You don't think he...tried to...y'know."

Pascal grunted and Eugene raised an eyebrow, wondering if Rapunzel really thought the Palace's chief would honestly cook a puppy. He was broken from his thoughts when the tiny pitter-patter of footprints made their way to his feet. Looking down quickly, he saw the lost puppy in a very familiar pose.

"Oh no you don't," he scolded, grabbing Barnaby by the scruff of his neck before he could mark his boots. "Not this time, buddy."

Tilting his head to the side, the small dog blinked as it looked at Eugene. Still holding the puppy in front of him like foreign object, he silently wondered if the dog would dare to pee from this position.

"You're quite the trouble maker," he said, taking Barnaby into his arms and facing him towards the cracked opened door. "Your daring escape has Rapunzel worried sick."

Barnaby's ears lowered in guilt, whimpering as he watched Rapunzel search for him on all fours. He turned upwards at Eugene, his puppy-dog eyes staring, as if trying to apologize. However, a closer look revealed the phoniness of the expression - he was using a puppy-smolder!

"Nah-uh, wrong guy," he grinned, and the look was instantly broken. "I'm the master of using facial expressions to influence people. And believe me, you're gonna have to do better than that to get on her good side again."

Still in his arms, Barnaby leaned back a bit, carefully examining his new found challenger. Eugene watched, slightly amused, as the puppy tried several adorable pouts and whimpers to get his way, but none of them were effective. After what seemed like the hundredth pose, the puppy gave up collapsing into an exasperated heap on Eugene's chest.

"Yeah, I know the feeling of not being able to get your way," he laughed, scratching the puppy behind his ear. "But it's better to admit defeat and face the music."

Obviously liking this new found attention, Barnaby jumped up towards Eugene's face to cover it with licks. Eugene took a step back in surprised. He leaned a bit too hard, however and the door opened with a creak, gaining Rapunzel's attention instantly.

"Eugene?" she gasped in surprised, which instantly turned to irritation as her brows furrowed and her lip curled. "What do you want?"

He stared at her dumbstruck as he held Barnaby in his arms, who was still licking his face eagerly. Within seconds Rapunzel was at his side, taking the puppy from his hold, transferring the licks in the process.

"You found him!"

"Actually, he found me," Eugene explained, thumbing the doorway.

"How long were you outside for?" she asked, raising an eyebrow mockingly.

"What makes you think I was outside and not just passing by candidly?"

"I know how you work," she smiled slightly, scratching Barnaby's ears as he curled into her arms. "And Pascal told me what a mess you were last night."

Eugene sent a look to Pascal who shrugged from his perch on Rapunzel's shoulder. Geez, what kind of world did he live in that he couldn't even trust a chameleon?

He sighed sadly, knowing that he had to admit defeat.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he said honestly. "The dog...Barnaby...may not be our dog, but he still has feelings. Sure he pisses on everything, but he's not the worst dog in the world."

From Rapunzel's arms, Barnaby's tail wagged happily. Liking the idea of not being the worst dog in the world.

"I'm sorry too," Rapunzel confessed bashfully, "I know it's been hard on you, and I shouldn't have expected you to take Barnaby's little...quirks...without getting upset."

He leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers, "So...friends again?"

"Depends," she offered him a small smile. "If Barnaby thinks it's okay."

Looking down, Eugene saw the smug looking puppy and suddenly regretted teasing him about his puppy-smolder. Crouching down so he was eye-level with Barnaby, he stuck out his hand in gesture that brought back a sudden wave of deja-vu involving a particular white horse.

"Well, what do you say?" he asked, eyebrow raised. "Truce?"

His hand was met with Barnaby's vigorous happy lickings, and figured that counted just as much as a paw-shake.

Later that week they returned the puppy to Big Nose and his new bride, Eugene proudly sharing the story of how he singlehandedly housebroke their unruly dog as Rapunzel tearfully said good-bye, giving the illusion that the dog was being sent to Mars, not just a few minutes away.

Back in their bed, Rapunzel curled up to Eugene's side, wrapping her arms around his middle lovingly.

"Sort makes you want to have a littler of our own, huh?"

"A litter?" he laughed. "That's a bit much, but a puppy may be pretty nice to get-"

He looked down to see that she wasn't talking about dogs at all, and stammered.

"Someday...but y'know, not now. It'll need to be potty-trained...uh, I mean housebroken!"

She smiled, pecking his lips chastely before snuggling into him.

"And no stupid names like Barnaby..." he mumbled grumpily into her hair as she laughed into his chest.


	20. Maternity

**Maternity**

For once, Rapunzel was taking her time. Usually spotted running around the palace, while exploring this new corridor the newly appointed Princess of Corona slowed down. She wanted to take everything in, absorb all the knowledge she could about the castle. Everything from its history, to its passageways; Rapunzel wanted to learn it all. And she figured the best way to do that was to explore.

She arbitrarily turned corners, and found herself in a gallery filled with royal portraits.

Her family.

The portraits hung high, and were so large she couldn't help but wonder how the servants had managed to hang each picture without having it fall forwards.

Starting from one end of the room she saw a heavyset man, whose baldhead was nicely covered by his crown. On his side was his wife, her long hair tied back in a fancy knot.

On her shoulder, Pascal mimicked the stuffy looking poses and causing Rapunzel to giggle.

"They do look kind of uncomfortable," she smiled looking to the next portrait of a stout looking man and his wife, whose long red hair curled elegantly around her face. "But wow…these Queens are very pretty."

Pascal squeaked, and Rapunzel walked on, noticing how each of her ancestor's hair seemed to hold a similar quality. She stopped at the portrait of her parents, noting how even her mother's hair seemed longer. Out of habit, she motioned to tug on her locks, only to grab air instead.

Turning to one of the many mirrors she saw her reflection before taking another inspection of the portraits. Sporting her short brown, pixie cut hair; she didn't look like royalty at all.

She swallowed hard, and felt Pascal nuzzle her cheek. Smiling sadly she pet the small lizard.

"Sorry, got a little lost in thought," she mumbled. "Why don't you go find Eugene? He's probably still out at Maximus's stable, and it's almost supper time."

Pascal nodded, hopping off her shoulder agility before scurrying out towards the garden.

Taking one last look at the mirror, Rapunzel's mind echoed with the Gothel's taunts. Standing in front of so much royalty, she really did feel sloppy and underdressed. Leaving the room, she thought of how blindly she explored the castle. Feeling guilty for taking such joy in something so childish reminded her of her own immaturity.

She was ripped by her thoughts when her barefoot stepped in a linens basket, most likely left behind by one of the hand maidens, falling forwards, tagging the bed sheets behind her.

How clumsy.

After moments of untangling herself from the sheet, she noticed the familiar golden color of the linen. She rose to her feet, taking the sheet in her hands as she watched her reflection in the hall's full-length mirror.  
Looking over her shoulder to make sure she was alone, she quickly covered her head with the sheet. When her eyes returned to the mirror she saw that the sheet merely covered her head, and was nothing close to the locks that were once attached to her head.

She wrapped herself with the sheet as she slid down the wall, crumbling to the ground. Curling in on her self, she rested her head on her knees and cried silently, covering her face with the golden veil.

"Rapunzel?" she heard, and instantly her head rose up to see the concerned face of the Queen from the other side of the hall. Quickly she attempted to rub her eyes, trying to erase any trace of tears by the time the Queen made her way to her spot on the floor.

"Oh hello, Mother," she smiled, artificially. "How are-"

Her sentence was cut short as the Queen dropped to her knees and held Rapunzel close to her. Not even taken aback by the sudden embrace, Rapunzel buried her head in her mother's shoulder and cried.

Between sobs she managed to croak out her insecurities, her fears, her doubts, and with each sob came the Queen's reassurance, trust, and most importantly, love.

It felt like hours that she was there, held in her mother's embrace, when she finally pulled away and noticed how drenched the Queen's dress was with her tears. Surely it would stain, spoiling the dress forever. Feeling guilty, she looked up at her mother's face, about to apologize for ruining such a beautiful gown.

"I'll always be here for you, through everything," the Queen interrupted, cupping Rapunzel's face in her hand loving before stroking her hair like it was the beautiful thing in the world, even though it was short, jagged, and powerless. "Even if you destroy a million dresses, I don't care."

Rapunzel smiled genuinely, her emerald eyes still bloodshot as she threw herself back into her mother's embrace, and tear-stained dress. As the Queen hugged her tightly, her eyes began to water for an entirely different reason.**  
**


	21. Hanging

**Hanging**

Eugene wasn't a very spiritual guy, but he had to admit that the world worked in mysterious ways.

He had wanted a castle, and gotten it. Along with a lost Princess who had him wrapped around her little finger, a fact he would deny until the day he died. Well, he day he dies again.

Sometimes life gives you more than you bargained for, and it's best to not ask questions and roll with the punches.

Making his way throughout he castle, he was embarrassed to admit he still got a little bit lost in the enormity of it all. It had barely been a few weeks, but he still didn't like the idea of getting lost. Thankfully his target was hard to miss, the castle's largest tower which was visible from nearly every window in the palace.

Rapunzel was currently in the mist of a major project. Seeing the abandoned tower, she had taken it upon herself to turn it into her own personal utopia, working to fill it to the brim with paintings, books, knick-knacks, and whatever else tickled her fancy.

After he had helped her gut it out, together they unscrewed the door off its hinges. Unlike her previous tower this was her domain, not her prison.

Making his way across the courtyard, Eugene squinted up at the overcast sky. It was lousy weather, and he learned that rainy days around the palace were particularly boring.

Walking through the entrance of the tower, he instantly noticed a long rope in the middle of the room. Following it upwards, he saw Rapunzel, curled around the rope as she painted the highest wall, Pascal napping on the pegs holding her paints peacefully.

A now familiar wave of nervousness swept over Eugene, an emotion he often felt due to Rapunzel's naive ideas. While he understood that climbing her hair for years had made her rather agile, but there was a big different between her 70 feet of magical hair and an every day rope.

He thought of all the terrible things that could happen to her as she painted. He was ripped from his morbid and panic inducing thoughts as a dirty wash cloth landed on his head. Instantly looking up as he wiped the filthy rag away, he saw Rapunzel laughing at him from above. Some time during his crisis, she had adjusted the rope into a makeshift swing, sitting comfortably above him.

"Well, don't you look pleasant," he joked, trying to shake off his nerves.

"I was just finishing up," she smiled, adjusting the rope yet again. "Hold up, I'll be right down."

Eugene swallowed hard as she readjusted the rope and slide down in front of him. He grimaced as she wiped her hands on her apron.

"Yikes, doesn't that hurt?"

"Not really," she shrugged. "Father showed me that it's better to use chalk when dealing with double braided ropes, since it avoids rope burns."

"Good call," he looked up to see how her paintings were progressing. "Wow, you've been busy. It's a regular Sistine Chapel in here."

"I'm almost done with the ceiling," she explained excitedly, pointing out her favorite parts of her painting. "I'm going to work my way down around the walls and eventually to the ground-floor."

"What are you going to do when it's done?" he asked, his hands on his hips as he looked down at her.

"Y'know, I'm not sure," she answered earnestly, biting her lip. "It took me a really long time to fill up the old Tower, so I'm sure I'll figure it out by the time I'm done with this."

He nodded, looking around as he admired her work. He had always felt guilty that he was too busy being knocked out and stabbed to really appreciate the murals in her old Tower.

"You want to help?"

"What?" he asked, turning to her as she smiled, her freckled noise covered in paint.

"Do you want to help me?" she repeated, picking up an extra brush.

"Um...I'm not sure," he laughed nervously. "I'm not nearly the artist you are."

"It's okay," she handed him the brush. "I'd like to see your work here too."

He smiled slightly, looking upwards wondering where or what he could paint without ruining her walls too much.

"I'm gonna need a ladder."

"The ladders in here aren't tall enough," she explained, handing him her extra coil of rope. "You're gonna have to use rope and climb."

He looked down at the rope, up at her, then down at the rope again. Raising his eyebrow he silently said, _'You're joking, right?_'

"Here," she said, taking one end of the rope from him. "I'll climb ahead and tie this to one of the support beams so you can get up."

"Uh...okay...sure."

Climbing with surprised skill and speed, Rapunzel quickly made it to the top of the tower. After the rope was secure, she gave him the thumbs up. Nodding dumbly, he tied one end of the rope around his middle, climbing upwards easily. When he got to the point where he wanted to paint, he hung lamely.

"So, uh...how do I paint like this?" he asked, feeling silly just hanging from the ceiling."

"Here," Rapunzel said, outreaching her arms with small buckets of paints hung, her brushes snugly behind her ear. "Pick your colors and hang them on that peg across from you. You can secure yourself with your legs to use both your hands if you want."

As he placed the colors he figured looked the best, stupidly he lost his grip on one of the colors' handles. He was able to catch hold of the handle with his foot, however, kicking it upwards and catching it gracefully. Looking up at Rapunzel, he rose an eyebrow.

"That was impressive, wasn't it?" he smirked.

"More like a fluke," she laughed. "You're having a bit of trouble with this, aren't you?"

"Not my fault you're insane and can't use a ladder like a normal person," he said, handing her the recused bucket which she placed on her peg gingerly, Pascal still snoring from the resting spot. "I still dunno what to paint though."

"Do whatever you want," she smiled, closing one eye and measuring the wall with her thumb. "Is there anything you're really good at sketching?"

"Well, I was pretty good at chalking up maps for heists."

"Then paint a map," she leaned back, facing him upside-down as she hung from the rope like a monkey. "Get creative!"

He shrugged and began sketching a map of some mythical place. He figured she asked for it, so she couldn't get mad at him for messing up her mural. Suspended from the support beams, the two of them painted in comfortable silence.

A roar of thunder crashed and the two of them looked up at the ceiling as the sound of rain echoed from the roof.

Placing her paints and brushes gently on her pegs, Rapunzel adjusted her rope and hung gently, staring up at the ceiling. From below her, Eugene went back to his painting. Paint was smeared on his face, as his tongue stuck out in concentration, engrossed in his work.

"Eugene?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy you're here with me."

"I'm happy to be here with you," he shot her a grin over his shoulder. "Kinda wish I wasn't suspended seven stories by only a rope though."

"I don't mean just the painting," she smiled, climbing down slowly so she was facing him. "I mean for staying with me through...well, everything."

"Eh, what can I say," he smirked as he placed his bucket and brush away so he could take hold of her hand. "Hanging with you is surprisingly a lot better than getting a tan on some lonely island."

Pulling her towards him, he leaned down to cover her lips with his. She sighed as he moved into small caresses against her lips. Letting go of her hand, he reached for her back, pulling her towards him, as his other hand held onto his rope. His foot coiling around tightly for adding security. He felt her move closer to him, running one hand through his hair, and her other hand...wait her other hand?

Their kiss broke suddenly as she scrabbled to grab hold of him, clenching her arms around his neck as he grabbed her from behind, still holding onto his rope as if for dear life. From above them, Pascal squeaked in sleepy confusion, wondering why they both needed to be on one rope.

"Sorry," she managed as they swung slowly, taking a deep breath to calm her erratic breathing. "Totally forgot about the whole rope thing."

"Yeah, kinda an issue," he looked down, growing uneasy about their situation. "I think it's time we get some taller ladders."

"Think so?"

"Yup," his grip on her tightened as he kissed her forehead. "I love you, but dying a second time is not on my agenda."


	22. Family Matters

**Family Matters**

Eugene yawned, scratching the back of his head as he made his way through the palace's corridors. Passing a clock, he saw it was barely past eleven, and, by his standards, way too early to be awake.

Figuring the time, Rapunzel was in her lessons, and he should probably head over to his own. Unlike Rapunzel, who was being taught history or art, he was thrown into etiquette tutoring. Sure, the classes were annoying, but in the end it was better than the alternative. Also, the King and Queen allowing him to stay at the palace was rather generous; the least he could do was learn which side of his plate the salad fork sat.

He passed the master staircase to see a surprising amount of guards lined up from the Castle's entrances, all the way up to the top of the stairs. Walking up to the last guard, who appeared to be a little younger than himself, he decided to strike up conversation.

"What's all this for?"

"His Majesty's Aunt is visiting to meet the newly returned Princess," the guard answered, seemingly unaware that Eugene knew exactly who the Princess was, considering he was the one who returned her. "Her carriage just arrived."

Eugene nodded as the Captain began to bark orders at his inferiors. Not wanting to have to deal with the Captain's harassment, Eugene quickly separated himself from the scene. He figured he'd meet this Royal Aunt eventually, and hopefully when he was less drowsy.

He barely had time to think as two tiny arms reached out from the broom closet, pulling him inside. Shoved to the back, he knocked the back of his head against a bucket. Struggling to stand, he heard a familiar voice.

"Eugene! Calm down!"

"Ra… Rapunzel?" he groaned, as the pixie-cut princess smiled slightly. Pascal waved from his perch on her head. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Great Aunt Ada is visiting," she whispered, no longer looking at him but through the crack in the door, Pascal mimicking her motions from her head.

"Riiight," he said, standing up slightly and adjusting his vest. "Still doesn't explain the broom closet."

"I want to see her before I have to formally meet her," she explained, as if the plan made complete sense. "That way I have an idea of who she is beforehand."

"And none of the house plants had any vacancy?" He attempted unsuccessfully to kick a bucket off his foot. "So why did you pull me in here with you?"

"I saw you talking with Matthew."

"Who?" He looked up from the bucket, raising an eyebrow.

"The guard."

"Oh." He went back to the bucket.

"What did he say?"

"That your Aunt is here to visit you."

"Is that it?" she sighed, disappointed that he didn't have more of a scoop.

"And that her carriage was here," he finished, finally freeing his foot from the bucket. "Ha!"

"It is?" she squeaked.

Suddenly trumpets blared, surprising Rapunzel enough for her to jump back, knocking Eugene back into the wall and his foot firmly back in the bucket.

"Great," he groaned, changing his attention to Rapunzel who looked petrified. "I think she's here."

"Yeah."

"We should probably get out of the broom closet before she thinks something weird is going on." He looked down at their predicament. "Well, something weirder."

She looked up at him, still nervous. He smiled reassuringly, pushing her back slightly to open up the door. After taking a deep breath, Rapunzel moved to turn the knob and open the door. Hearing footsteps near the door, Eugene took hold of her wrist quickly, shutting the door with his other hand.

"Euge—" she began before his covered her mouth with his hand. He felt her frown from beneath his palm.

"Shhh," he whispered in her ear. "They're gonna pass, and I don't think you want your first impression with her to be you leaving a broom closet."

She muffled something from behind his hand, and whether it was because he was dating her or somehow catching her crazy, he understood what she was saying.

"Because it's pretty shady to be alone in a broom closet with a guy when you're not married to him. Even when you are married it's still kind of shady."

Another muffled sentence.

"Because it insinuates some things… look, can we have this conversation later? Just stay quiet."

She huffed, blowing hot air on his hand, and working to break free from his grasp.

"Wait… gah, stop it… Rapunzel, we're gonna—" She pulled against his arm with too much force, flinging herself out of his hold and onto the door. The force was enough to knock him forward as well, and due to his foot being caught in the bucket, he fell clumsily.

Their combined weight was enough to bash through the door, and the two of them fell into a tangled mess on the floor in front of the King, who was currently giving a tour of the palace to who must have been Great Aunt Ada.

Noticing their predicament, Eugene scooted away from Rapunzel as if she were on fire. Kicking the bucket off his foot in the process, he sat on the floor with his hands up, as if to say, 'My hand are here, see? I didn't touch her, I swear!'

Looking perplexed, the King cleared his throat.

"So, um, Auntie," he smiled, taking his daughter's hand to help her to her feet. "This is Rapunzel."

Still flushed, Rapunzel smiled, giving a tiny wave before she remembered her manners lessons, and curtsied instead.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Aunt Ada."

Looking up slightly from her curtsey, Rapunzel was able to get a good look at her Aunt. She was a short, round woman, with a thin mouth and gaudy jewelry. Her long dark hair was twisted into a topknot on her head, which was also covered with jewels. In her left hand she held a diamond-encrusted cane, an item so expensive-looking that Rapunzel wondered if Eugene's treasure-hunting senses were flaring.

Ada leaned forward, so her flat nose was almost touching Rapunzel's, peering into her eyes, searching for something. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, before Ada finally pulled back, though still staring at Rapunzel.

"Are you sure this is her?"

Rapunzel felt her heart leap into her throat, looking up at the King slowly.

"There's not a doubt in my mind," the King smiled, which reassured her a little, but not much.

"Her hair..." Ada murmured, before changing her focus to Eugene. "Who is this?"

"Ah, that, Aunt, is Eugene Fitzherbert," he presented, as Eugene bowed. "He is the one you should thank for Rapunzel being safely returned."

"Thank you, Your Majesty." Eugene laughed. "But really, it was more Ra—"

"Is he her suitor?" Ada interrupted, throwing everyone into an awkward silence. Rapunzel saw Eugene take a step next to her, taking hold of her hand.

"Yes," he answered, staring directly at Ada, daring her to say something nasty.

The awkward silence returned as Ada and Eugene glared at each other; Rapunzel tried to remember how to exhale and the King wracked his mind to think of a way to ease the tension.

"Right, now that we are all introduced." He laughed a little too heartily to be believable, taking Ada by the arm. "Auntie, I believe it's time for tea. I'm sure my wife is growing impatient."

Leading Ada down the corridor, the King looked back. "Tidy up, you two, and meet us when you're ready."

As they left, Eugene looked down at Rapunzel, who was still frozen in place.

"Relax; they're gone," he said, she was still unresponsive. He flicked her forehead teasingly, bringing her back with a frown.

"I… think she doesn't like me."

"I don't think she likes anyone." He smiled, kneeling in front of her to push a stray hair from her face. "She'll warm up once she sits down with us for tea."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he grinned. "She was probably surprised to see you tumble out a broom closet with such a handsome guy."

She rolled her eyes and slapped him away. Eugene was right; tea always cheered everyone up and a family conversation would really clear the air between everyone.

It took less than two seconds into teatime for Rapunzel to admit how wrong Eugene was; Ada didn't warm up to anyone.

The table was small and round, with Ada sitting between the King and Queen, Rapunzel next to the Queen and Eugene next to Rapunzel.

Everyone sat in thick, uncomfortable silence. The only noise was coming from the occasional clank of teacups hitting saucers and the muffled munching of Eugene eating a biscuit. She looked at his plate, figuring he must have eaten at least five within the last few minutes. Of course he was doing it to seem less awkward, but could he at least say something?

Glancing at her mother, she noticed how thin the Queen's lips were pressed, as if trying to hold something back. Rapunzel wondered what it could be, and again why nobody was talking.

Every so often the King would try to strike conversation, but it would only spark for a second before extinguishing. Clearing his throat, he attempted again.

"Rapunzel is quite the artist," he said, smiling between Aunt Ada and his daughter. "Isn't that right, Rapunzel?"

"Well," she said, smiling awkwardly. "I do like to paint."

"Since her return, some of the palace's walls have been covered with the most beautiful murals."

"The walls?" Ada scoffed, taking a sip of her tea. "That's barbaric."

Rapunzel sighed sadly, suddenly feeling Pascal nudge her hand. Looking down she saw her tiny green friend nuzzle her affectionately. She scratched his head unconsciously, as she watched her father try to defend her paintings.

"Why does someone need to paint on the walls?" Ada urged, talking about Rapunzel as if she wasn't at the table. "Are canvases not enough?"

"It's just her thing," Eugene said, sneaking Pascal bits of briquet from under the table. "It's sort of like how your thing is to be a total bit—"

"BUT," the King interrupted, shooting Eugene a look. "But, you cannot judge her murals until you see them! Once you do, Auntie, you shall see how marvelous her work is!"

"Rapunzel's work is fantastic," the Queen said, smiling at her daughter across the table, ignoring Ada completely.

Ada grumbled something under her breath, gripping her cane tightly. Her head perked up suddenly as her eyes noticed something green in Eugene's hand.

"What is that?" she demanded, pointing her cane at Eugene, the edge of the wood mere itches from his face.

"It's nothing," he grumbled, pushing the cane away. "And it's rude to point, Auntie."

Pascal scurried from Eugene's palm to Rapunzel's, trying to hide from Ada's view. They weren't fast enough however, as the old woman screamed, "FROGS? YOU KEEP FROGS IN THE CASTLE NOW?"

"Actually, it's a chameleon," the Queen said, taking a sip of her tea as if Ada was not currently having a fit right next to her.

"YOU ALLOW HER TO KEEP PESTS IN THE CASTLE?" Ada screamed, glaring at the King, who was speechless.

"PASCAL IS NOT A PEST," Rapunzel defended, holding Pascal up to her chest.

The screaming continued as the King separated Ada and Rapunzel, fearing the outcome of such a fight. He laughed humorlessly, leading Ada out of the room.

The Queen sighed, reaching out and taking Rapunzel's hand as she sat back down at her seat.

"It's not your fault, Rapunzel," she smiled, squeezing her daughter's hand. "That's just how she is… how she's always been."

Rapunzel stared absently, and Eugene took a sip of his tea.

"Well, if dinner's as eventful as this," He grinned, "We're in for a real treat."

Dinner snailed by, as no one talked at all, and not even the King attempted to strike conversation this time. The chefs and servants watched on awkwardly, as the royal family (and Eugene) ate in misery.

Later that night, Rapunzel collapsed on her bed, tired and emotionally numb. Pascal scooted up to her, squeaking sadly.

"It's not your fault." She smiled, petting him softly. "It's me she doesn't like."

While before bed her parents both hugged her and told her it was all right, it didn't make her feel any better. Eugene was more angry than upset, cursing the old woman and calling her names that she had learned from her manners tutor were not to be used in front of polite company.

Great Aunt Ada wasn't polite company, though; she was rude and mean and hurtful. The disdainful stares and condescending remarks reminded her of—

She was ripped by her thoughts from a familiar yell outside. Running to her bay window, she looked down to see Ada on the balcony below her shaking her cane.

"You better stay down there!" she yelled, "Proper suitors do not scale castle walls in the middle of the night."

"Sounds to me like you're just jealous that no guy ever did that for you."

Rapunzel smacked her head with her hand. He just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"It would be smart for you to behave yourself, Mr. Fitzherbert!"

"Or wha—HEY, WATCH IT!" His taunting was cut short as Ada began throwing random objects below, one nailing him in the head. "You trying to kill me?"

"No, but it would be a fortunate bonus!" she growled, pulling out a seat from inside to sit down, resting her hands on her cane. "If I see you even try a stunt like that again, you can guarantee I will call the guards!"

"You're seriously going to keep watch all night?" She heard Eugene scoff, and saw Ada hold up what appeared to be a very expensive vase. "OKAY, OKAY, I'M GOING!"

She couldn't help but smile at Eugene's antics… so much for being on his best behavior. From the balcony below, Ada looked up at her window, and Rapunzel jumped back from view. Taking Pascal in her palms, she smiled sadly at the chameleon.

"Could you go down and make sure Eugene stays put? I don't want him getting into any more trouble with her."

With his tiny lizard chest puffed, Pascal nodded and off he was out of the window and down the castle. Scurrying along the ledges and down the outer walls, he made his way to Eugene's bedroom, which ironically was right beneath Ada's, who was sandwiched between the two.

His window was closed, most likely to shield himself in case Ada began throwing more decor downwards. Using his tail, Pascal jimmied the lock, opening the window within moments.

And Flynn Rider thought he had skills.

Hurrying down, he climbed onto the foot of the bed to see the ex-thief reclining, his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, contemplating something. Most likely his next course of action.

Pascal traveled across Eugene unnoticed, making is way to the top of the headboard, mere inches from Eugene's ear. Grinning smugly, Pascal opened his mouth to attack.

"Don't even think about it," Eugene growled, turning his attention to the lizard, who squeaked in surprise. "Or you'll go right out the window you crawled in through."

Pascal blew a raspberry at Eugene before climbing onto his shoulder.

"Lemme guess." He smirked, scratching the small chameleon. "She sent you here to make sure I stayed put, huh?"

Pascal whirred happily, flopping on his back so Eugene could scratch his stomach.

"You know I'm not going to."

The whirring stopped with a squeak. Still on his back, Pascal eyed Eugene daringly.

"She's upset; I need to make sure she's all right." He raised an eyebrow at the lizard. "She's not okay, is she?"

Deflating like a balloon, Pascal rolled on his side and shook his head.

"Knew it," he sighed, picking up the chameleon and putting him in his pocket. "That old hag got to her."

Making his way to the window, he opened it fully, looking down in his pocket.

"Using your tail as a lock-pick, huh? I'm impressed." He smirked. "If I were still thieving, you'd make a good partner."

Pascal looked smug, as he rode in Eugene's pocket.

He leaned out slowly, looking upward. Ada's balcony was directly above his own, and was usually what he would pull himself up onto to climb to Rapunzel's room. Since it was currently being occupied, he needed to find himself a different route.

Looking around, he caught sight of the window ledges, and while it would be more effort than just climbing the balconies, it was definitely doable.

"Hold on," he said as he took his first step off the balcony and onto a ledge. "And don't look down."

Eugene shimmied his way across before hoisting himself to the ledges above. Soon he was directly over Ada's balcony and under Rapunzel's window. Looking down, he noticed that the old woman had fallen asleep, her head rested against the handle of her cane. He felt a deep desire to kick his boot at her, but refrained, because he was an adult, and he didn't want to wake her. He'd do something later to her, though. Like put chili peppers in her porridge or something.

With one final boost, he lifted himself into Rapunzel's (luckily) opened window. He landed on her carpet gently, raising his eyebrow at the chameleon that still rode in his pocket.

Pascal rolled his eyes, still not impressed.

Figuring that a lizard was not a proper critic, he moved on. Kicking his boots off gently, he saw Rapunzel curled on the opposite side of the bed, away from the window. She was really out of it; she didn't even hear him enter the room. Placing Pascal on the bed, he waited for him to curl himself around Rapunzel's cheek before joining them in the bed.

"Eugene?" she questioned, turning in bed to face him.

"The one and only."

"How did you get in? Aunt Ada's been on watch all night."

"I saw, so I just took a little detour. Y'know, scaled the walls, climbed a few ledges, pretty basic stuff." He smirked as Pascal rolled his eyes. "Your friend wasn't entirely impressed though."

"She's going to freak out if she finds out you're here." Rapunzel pouted, turning into her pillow and groaning. "And she'll hate me even more."

"Hey, quit being dramatic." He nudged her in the side as she turned to face him again, her face smushed in the pillow. "You're blowing this out of proportion."

"Like you're one to talk." She extended her hand, touching his nose with her index finger lightly. "You freak out when you see an old Wanted poster with your nose wrong."

"Okay, that's entirely different, because really, some of those are just ridiculous. Did you see the one when they just put a triangle? I mean, who does—" He stopped mid-sentence when he saw her smirk at his derailment. "Anyway, that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?" she sighed, touching his nose again. He took her hand, lancing their fingers together tightly.

"The point is, you can't let her get to you just because you guys had a bad first impression."

"But it was so bad," she groaned, turning back into the pillow again. "She doesn't even think I'm the right princess… and she called Pascal a pest."

"You think she's right?"

"No," she answered quickly, smiling over at the sleepy green chameleon. "Pascal is adorable."

He tugged at her hand and she knew he wasn't talking about Pascal. She was quiet for a bit, her fingers between his with one hand and petting Pascal absently with the other.

"I know I belong here," she began softly. "But sometimes it's hard not to doubt it. The first eighteen years of my life were spent looking out a window; now I'm royalty. It's difficult to adjust, you know?"

"Eh, not really," he shrugged. "When you become an orphan-turned-thief, they give you this special handbook called, 'What To Do If You Find Yourself Bunking With Royalty,' so I've just been flipping through that."

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide her smile in her pillow, although her green eyes sparkling gave her away. He pulled her towards him, so she was curled against his chest. He buried his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head as she listened to his heartbeat.

"I think I'll try talking to her one-on-one tomorrow, maybe it'll change her mind," she sighed, tracing her fingers in circles idly on his chest.

"It's worth a shot."

"Too bad first impressions are lasting impressions, huh?"

"I don't think so," he said honestly. "If that was true I'd still think you were a crazy girl running amok in a forest."

"Oh? Then what do you think of me now?"

"I think you're a crazy princess running amok in a palace." He smirked as she smacked him in the chest lightly. "What? It's an upgrade!"

The next morning, Rapunzel stood in front of Ada's door, staring at it so hard Eugene wondered if she was trying to open it with her mind, or set it on fire.

"Y'know," he said slowly from behind her. "You could just knock on the door."

"I will," she said, annoyance laced in her voice. "I'm just… planning my approach."

"No, you're stalling." He rolled his eyes, taking her wrist in his hand and using it to knock on the door. "Ta-da! Step one completed!"

"Eugene!" she huffed, taking her hand back. She stared at the door nervously when she was met with silence. "She didn't answer."

"That's weird." He put his hand on his chin in thought. "Your buddy Matthew told me she was going to be in her room until breakfast."

"I'm going to knock again," she said, still sounding uneasy. "Can you check the dinning hall to make sure she's not there already?"

"You sure you're going to be okay here?" he asked sincerely. "Because I can stay—"

"It's okay, I'm okay," she smiled pushing him down the hall. "I promise."

"…All right." He took a quick look at Pascal. "If she does anything nasty, crap on her."

"Eugene!"

He threw his hands in the air before turning around to head towards the hall. Rapunzel walked back to the door staring at it, then at Pascal, then at the door again.

"Let's try this a-" she was cut off as Ada opened the door quickly, before she even had the chance to knock. Pascal hid in her hair, afraid of being called a pest again.

"I heard you knock the first time," she answered. "Come in."

Ada sat on an overstuffed armchair as Rapunzel sat across from her, between them was a small coffee table. A pot a tea with two cups were already prepared.

"You can tell your...friend, that it's not polite to hide."

Pascal peaked out from the top of Rapunzel's head, before climbing down to her shoulder. Ada grimaced as she pushed a saucer with a biscuit on top towards them, a silent peace offering.

"I had a feeling you would want to reintroduce yourself," Ada said, her face still stern. She mulled a thought in her head before saying it out loud, forcing her feelings into words. "Rather, I hoped you would."

Rapunzel was speechless, not knowing whether to yell at Ada for her rudeness or cry and thank her to reconsidering. She figured nodding was a good start, at least then she could keep her composure.

"After I chased away your suitor...Mr. Fitzherbert...from visiting you last night, I began to realize that in my old age, I've forgotten what it was like to believe in miracles." Sighing, Ada crossed her hands over her cane. "The idea that the lost Princess could ever be returned...I had begun to lose hope. For allowing my doubts to cloud our first impression, I am sorry."

"First impressions aren't the only ones," Rapunzel shrugged with a smile, as Pascal squeaked happily from the saucer. "But thank you."

Rapunzel wasn't sure if it was the makeup, a trick from the light, or even her own imagination - but she could've sworn she saw the old woman crack a little bit of a smile as well. It lasted for less than a second, as Ada was already busy preparing her tea, pushing onward.

"Regardless, Ladies should meet over tea, not tumble out of broom closets. Consider this a clean slate, if you would," the old woman explained, before taking a sip of her tea delicately. "After all, I did come here to meet my niece."


	23. Tipsy

**Tipsy**

Eugene should have figured that a giant tower in the middle of the forest didn't come with much legroom.

It would explain why Rapunzel insisted on running everywhere. Up the stairs, down the stairs, through the castle, through the town square. Even when they were just going out to visit Maximus in his stable, she needed to run there.

"We don't need to rush," he said, carrying a bag of apples for their four-legged friend. "It's only across the courtyard."

"Oh c'mon Eugene, it'll be fun," she smiled. "Unless you're chicken."

"I am not chicken," he laughed, readjusting the bag's strap on his shoulder. "I would just leave you in the dust."

"No, you wouldn't," she grinned, stopping to put her hands on her hips defiantly. "I'm small and petite; I would go faster than your large, muscly frame."

"You really wanna do this?"

"Yes!"

"All right fine," he agreed, lining up next to her with the apples. "But don't get too upset when I beat you."

"I'll like to see you try," she smirked, kicking off her shoes and handing them to him. "Here, hold these."

"Your shoes?" he asked, but was ignored so he held them like a good sport.

"Okay, you ready?" she asked before setting off. "3...2...1...GO!"

He was off like a rocket, and so was she - only in another direction.

With a high pitched, "EEP!" she face-planted into the ground. For a second, he thought he had hit to when he launched. It wasn't until he turned around that he noticed she had fallen.

"What happened?" he asked, kneeling by her side to help her up. Dirt covered her face as well as a small scratch on her forehead from when she hit the ground.

"I...I dunno," she answered slowly, still trying to figure it out herself. "I went to run and went too forward and smacked the ground."

"You probably tripped because you were too excited," he offered, brushing stray strands of grass from her hair.

They restarted the race, only this time Eugene held back to make sure she didn't over exert herself again. Carefully she lunged, and didn't gain momentum until she was sure she wasn't going to fall again. While she wasn't faster than him, he let her win anyway - he was considerate like that.

Later that night, they made their way to the dining hall for dinner. Rapunzel told him a story of two handmaidens he'd never heard of and how excited they were to see how many colors Pascal could change.

"I really don't think there's any color he can't change," she smiled, petting the chameleon affectionately. "I think he's the only chamele-OW!"

He stopped in his tracks to see that Rapunzel had veered too much to the right and crashed into a decorative end table. Rubbing her now sore hip, she pouted.

"Guess I didn't see it there..."

"It's all right, it's only been a week," he shrugged. "You're probably not used to where all those crafty end tables are lurking."

"Yeah," she nodded, but scurried over to his left side instead, not wanting to hit any more furniture.

As they walked, she picked up her story where she left off, only to stop again with a bang. He looked down to see her rubbing her left side - she had hit a statue.

"Are you all right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry," she grimaced awkwardly. "I guess I'm a bit...clumsily."

She trailed off on some long explanation about how she kept knocking into things in the castle as he thought back to their first adventure to the kingdom. He didn't remember her being clutzy then, if anything he was rather impressed by her pose considering she had so much hair...oh!

"Aha!" he said, snapping his fingers as she looked at him questionably, "Hold that thought, I'll be right back."

He was gone before she could say anything, only to come back a few minutes later holding a roll of tape.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he taped a long vertical line along the floor. "We're going to be late for dinner."

"It'll only take a minute," he jumped to his feet, motioning to the line. "Okay, walk along that line."

Looking down, she switched her focus from the tape to Eugene.

"Um...why?"

"I just wanna see something."

"What kind of something?"

"If I tell you, it'll ruin it."

She made her way to the beginning of the line, standing in front of it hesitantly as he made motions for her to start. Taking a deep breath, she extended both her arms and attempted to walk across the straight line. The task proved to be more difficult than she thought, as she wobbled left and right like a drunken sailor.

"Aha, I knew it!" he laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You, darling, cannot walk straight."

"What?" she gasped, looking down at her bare feet on the line of tape. "I can so walk straight! Here watch!"

Hurrying to the beginning of the line, she tried it again, only to fail again.

"No, wait. That doesn't count."

She walked again, veering side-to-side once more.

"It's the line," she turned to Pascal. "You try it; show Eugene it's his line that's crooked and not my walking."

Nodding, the tiny chameleon crawled down to the floor. He squinted at the line of tape before walking across it perfectly. Looking down at the line then back up at Rapunzel, he shrugged.

"See," Eugene smirked. "Pascal can do it."

Biting her lip, she attempted the line again.

"Okay, relax," he laughed, taking her away from the line by the arm. "Look, the reason you can't walk straight is probably because you're not used to walking without your hair."

"My...hair?" she echoed, touching her short locks.

"Yeah see, you were so used to dragging that mess behind you all your life that you're not used to not having it balance you out and keep you straight," he motioned to the back her hair for emphasis. "It's also probably why you toppled over before, you were rushing forward thinking you had to carry the weight of your hair when you didn't."

Nervously Rapunzel rubbed the back of her hair, not wanting to have to bounce off walls for the rest of her life.

"Is it...permanent?" she asked quietly.

"What? No! No, no, no," he laughed, kissing the scrape on her forehead from earlier. "You just gotta get used to it, but you'll be fine. C'mon, let's go to dinner, I'm starv-"

"I'm going to do it," she said, marching back to line as he stood in the hallway.

"What?"

"I'm going to walk this line."

"Didn't you just hear what I said?" he thumbed the entrance to the grand dinning room behind them. "You'll get used to it over time, so let's have dinner."

"I'm going to figure this out now," she answered, no longer looking at him but at the line.

"Can't you do it after we eat?"

"You can go without me."

He knew that, but Eugene couldn't shake off the fact that it would be extremely awkward to eat alone with the King and Queen when their daughter was outside trying to balance on line of tape in the hallway.

He also felt that he should watch her for moral support. Because he was suddenly considerate.

Sighing in defeat, he sat on the floor to watch his crazy girlfriend try to walk straight.

Maybe if he was lucky someone would bring him a doggy bag.


	24. Fortunes

**Fortunes**

"C'mon," she urged, dragging him through the crowed cobblestone streets.

The village was still celebrating her return, and Eugene was a bit over-celebrated. His eyelids felt heavy as he stumbled a bit behind Rapunzel, she wanted to show him some tent she found earlier that night. While this tent was not a typical shop closed for the festivities or opened to serve copious amounts of free alcohol (which he took full advantage of), Rapunzel claimed this mysterious tent was different.

"It had a monkey, Eugene!" she squealed, as she waded her way through the crowd, too busy dancing or drinking to even realize she was the reason behind their party. "A real monkey! I had never seen one before, but there he was! He even had a hat on!"

"Was his name Abu?"

"Here is it!" she squealed, ignoring his joke to ring the bell that hung outside the tent.

There was a hoarse, "JUST A MINUTE!" heard before a heavy looking woman with a caked face of makeup popped her head out. Her wild white hair stood up from every-which-way, untamable by a purple scarf tied around her forehead tight enough to cut off much needed blood circulation.

"Oh Princess," she grinned, revealing her rotten teeth. "The Great Bananbino spoke of your return."

"Yeah," Rapunzel nodded, "I said I was going to be right back, I just wanted to bring Eugene along to get his fortune read too!"

"Fortune?" Eugene yelped, sobering up real fast. "Are you serious?"

"Ignore him, Madame Disiac," she said apologetically as the woman stepped out of the tent. She was dressed in a cloak that distinctly reminded Eugene of a disgustingly old floral table cloth. "He's a little skeptical."

"It's fine, darling," the woman said, pulling the tent's flap aside so they could enter. "I like them feisty."

Eugene shuddered as the woman winked seductively at him before she hurried to the other side of the small tent to yell at whoever was on the other side.

"The Great Bananbino will be with you in a moment," she assured. "Just take a seat, and if you need anything, just call."

"Okay," Rapunzel nodded, nearly bouncing in her seat with excitement. "Thank you so much, Madame Disiac!"

Eugene waited for the woman to disappear behind a tarp, leaving them alone. He watched as Pascal slowly crawled onto Rapunzel's shoulder from behind her pixie-cut hair. The chameleon looked as confused as he felt, making him feel a little less alone as the last sane person in the room.

Turning to Rapunzel he shot her an eyebrow-raise of disbelief.

"Don't be thrown off because she's a little weird," Rapunzel urged.

"Rapunzel, you're a little weird," he thumbed the flap of the tent. "That woman's such a nutcase she probably hordes squirrels in her hair. This place is a total con."

"Eugene!"

"I'm not kidding, this place is really sketchy," he said picking up a mysterious looking green jar. "I mean, look at this for instance. Why is there a hand in this jar? Are they saving it for later? What use could anyone possibly have for a hand in a jar?"

"You're not even giving it a chance," Rapunzel huffed, tenderly taking the jar from his hand and placing it back in its place. "Can you just try to be a little opened minded about this?"

Eugene opened his mouth to retort with something smarmy when a drum-roll suddenly began and the tent started to fill with smoke.

"Oh, it's starting!" she squealed, taking hold of his hand. "Isn't this exciting?"

"Yeah," he coughed, trying to fan away some of the smoke with his other hand. "Thrilling."

"Princess and...gentleman," Madame Disiac's voice rang out from behind the tarp of the tent. "From all the way across the seas comes the insightful, the powerful, the awe-inducing...THE GREAT BANANBINO!"

The tarp rose revealing a monkey in a turban, which stared blankly at the trio. Rapunzel clapped as Eugene and Pascal blinked at each other, then at the monkey, then again at each other, completely slack-jawed.

An uncomfortable silence rose as the monkey remained motionless, and Eugene remained confused. The tenseness of the situation was, however, lost on Rapunzel who happily grinned while watching the Monkey, excited to see what would happen next.

"What is-"

"Quiet!" Madame Disiac snapped, making her way from behind the tarp. "The Great Bananbino is evaluating the aura!"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel scolded. "Don't ruin his aura evaluation!"

"Are you serious-"

"SHH!" they hissed and Eugene shut his mouth with a huff, slumping in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

He didn't care about the stupid monkey and his stupid aura. He may have been dragged here against his will, but that didn't mean he had to enjoy it.

Eugene frowned at Rapunzel who ignored him, completely entranced by the turban wearing monkey, who must've found the aura to be satisfactory as it was now moving around some cards.

The monkey shuffled and flipped the cards onto the table, revealing that on the opposite side of each card was a picture. Thankfully the old Gypsy knew that the trio had no idea what the cards meant and translated the monkey's predictions.

"Oh, this is interesting," Madame Disiac cooed as the monkey dealt Rapunzel her cards. "The Great Bananbino sees that your tether has finally been cut, allowing you to unleash your full potential."

"Oh my gosh!" she grinned, turning to Eugene happily. "I'm going to unleash my full potential!"

Eugene sulked lower into the chair, not even bothering with a snarky response. It didn't matter anyway, for Rapunzel's attention went straight back to the cards, watching with giddy excitement as the monkey began to deal again.

"It would seem that you've been a diamond in the rough for sometime," the Gypsy read. "You're destiny has been overshadowed, but you're destined for greatness."

"Really?" Eugene grinned, lifting himself from the chair.

"Not you," Madam Disiac huffed with a roll of her eyes, "I was talking to the chameleon."

Confused he turned to see that sometime during his pouting Pascal had made his way to his shoulder, where he was currently sitting, with his little chest puffed with pride.

"Well, what about me?" he asked, trying to fight off the temptation to brush off the cocky lizard off his shoulder.

"Oh?" Rapunzel smirked, nudging him in the side. "I thought this was just a con?"

Ignoring her, he watched as the monkey dealt the cards again. The monkey stared at the cards before grumbling something inaudible under its breath.

"Hmm...this is quite peculiar."

"What?" he asked, looking from the monkey to Madam Disiac. "What did the Monkey say?"

Slowly, the Great Bananbino crept towards Eugene, as he leaned backwards, balancing on the hid-legs of his chair.

"Stay still," the Gypsy ordered, but Eugene still crept back.

"What is he doing?"

"He wants to see your lifeline."

"Why?" he winced as the monkey perched front of him, blankly staring at his face.

Sighing dramatically, Madam Disiac reached over the table, yanked Eugene back and forced his palms in front of the Great Bananbino. Panicked, he watched as the monkey examined his palms. He looked up to Rapunzel for help, but she was far more curious about his fortune than his wellbeing.

"It would seem you have two lifelines," Madam Disiac explained slowly, "But one has ended... have you died before?"

Rapunzel and Eugene exchanged a look before quickly and loudly answering an unconvincing "NO!"

"Hmm... Regardless, the second lifeline seems strong, but you face an unprecedented danger."

"From what?" he groaned, more annoyed than terrified. Didn't he face enough danger these last few days? He was tired. Couldn't he just relax for once?

"Yourself," the Gypsy hissed, releasing Eugene as he flew back into his chair.

"Wait, are you telling me that I'm self-destructive?" he rolled his eyes, kicking his feet on to the table. "What else did the monkey say? That water is wet?"

"Stop being rude," Rapunzel hissed, taking his feet and throwing them off the table. Turning to Madam Disiac she asked, "Is there anything we can do?"

"We?"

"Hush!"

Smiling at the young couple, the Gypsy laughed as Rapunzel held down Eugene's legs, who apparently just wanted to put them on the table for spite more than anything else. The Great Bananbino climbed onto her arm, resting on her shoulder pleasantly.

"You seem to have it covered, dear."


	25. Aging Gracelessly

**Aging Gracelessly **

On its own, their age difference really didn't bother Rapunzel. The closest she got was when she did the math and figured they would only be in their twenties together for a year. While that saddened her a little, Eugene was handsome now, and she knew he would be handsome later in life. Unless, of course, something unforeseeable happened - like if he was mauled by a bear, or grew an unruly mustache.

Their difference in age, however, was truly revealed one afternoon when they were sharing a picnic. Eugene was relaxing along the riverbank as Rapunzel thumbed through a book with Pascal on her shoulder. She was just in the middle of showing the small chameleon a particularly pretty orchid when she noticed something strange on his head. At first she figured it was a trick of the sunlight, but the more she looked, the more it bothered her.

Climbing to her feet, she scurried to his side and ever so not gently plopped his head in to her lap. He in turn woke up with a start, only to see Rapunzel inspecting his hair like a monkey. He groaned; just because he was accustomed to her weirdness didn't mean he had to like it.

"Just ignore me," she said quickly, her fingers combing through his hair as she inspected each strand closely. "Like I'm not even here."

"Yeah, because that's so easy to do," he squinted, trying to somehow crane his neck upwards. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Looking for something."

"I don't have lice, if that's what you mean."

She ignored him and continued her search. He stopped her by taking her hands in his. He couldn't see her in the sunlight, but he was hoping he was frowning in her general direction.

"Oh! I was right!" she giggled, fingering a strand of hair.

"Right about what? What are you right about?"

"You have a gray hair!"

"Ha, very cute."

"No, seriously. You have a gray hair."

"That's ridicu-OW!" he whined as she plucked one of his hairs.

Sitting up instantly, he leaned over to see her holding a thin, silver hair in her hand. Gaping like a fish out of water he hurried to the nearby river to hopefully catch his reflection in the water. Running his hands through his hair, Eugene didn't see any other grays. Swallowing hard, he stared blankly at Rapunzel who crawled in front of him, smiling apologetically.

"I...I didn't mean to upset you," she said softly, wringing her skirts in her hands awkwardly. "It was just one hair, it's not the end of the world."

He nodded, assuring her that it wasn't and faked a smile to quench her discomfort, as well as his sudden freak-out. Kissing her forehead tenderly, he began to clean up their picnic, his mind silently reeling.

The next day, Eugene moped around the castle. In the morning, the handmaidens watched him wallow in self piety along the main staircase. That afternoon, the Queen found him planted face-first onto a table.

"Mr. Fitzherbert?" she asked tentatively to no response. "Eugene, are you all right?"

"Yes," he sighed, his words muffled by the table. "I'm fine."

"Should I be concerned by your behavior?"

"No."

"Well, all right," she said, slowly making her leave. "Though, you should know that slouching like that is not good for your back."

Sitting up slowly he pictured himself not only old, but with a hunchback as well. With that horrid image freshly pressed into his mind, his depression spiraled deeper.

Somehow his moping led him to the Quarters of the Royal Guards, which was probably not the best idea. For one thing, the place reminded him of the time he was almost hanged. The other thing was that even on his best day it seemed that the Captain of the Guards could not appreciate what a hilarious and handsome Prince Consort he was blessed with, which was a crying shame.

Taking a seat on the stairs, Eugene figured that if the Captain couldn't appreciate him when he was at his best, maybe they could bond over his misfortune.

"Rider," the Captain growled. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing."

"If that's the case then beat it."

"I know you're wondering why I look so down, though..."

"Not really, I'm mostly wondering why you won't leave."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" he sighed, ignoring both the Captain's words as well as the Captain's polished boot lightly trying to kick him down the stairs.

"No."

"And it's just that...oh never mind, it's stupid."

"Probably," the Captain grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. "But you might as well spill your beans since you look more like crap than usual."

"Well," Eugene began, looking up at the Captain with wide, honest eyes. "What's it like to get old?"

"W-what?" he gaped, his mustache flaring.

"I mean, I'm almost 30! How much time do I have left, you know? Someone like you, who's up in his late 50s, can totally understand my dilemma, right?"

"I'm 34," the Captain hissed between his teeth and Eugene looked up, genuinely surprised.

"No kidding?" he rested his head in his hand, oblivious to the scarlet color the Captain was currently turning. "You're 34 and you're that bald?"

"How many times do I have to tell you," the Captain growled, practically shaking with fury, "It's shaved."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Huh, you know, in comparison one gray hair doesn't seem so bad. I could have to shave it all off and look super old, and you know something? I probably make one hell of a silver fox," Eugene laughed, standing up from the ground and wiping the dirt from his pants. "Thanks, Capt, I feel a lot bet-GAH!"

Eugene froze as the Captain picked him up by the front of his vest, bringing him close enough to his face to they were nose-to-nose.

"Hey, c'mon now," Eugene laughed awkwardly, swallowing hard. "I meant old as in wise, obviously! You're not mad about it, are you?"

"Oh, I'm not mad," the Captain smirked, tightening his grip.

"Ah huh," he raised an eyebrow. "Well, you sure seem-"

"I'm freaking pissed."

"Oh, I see," Eugene grinned, stupidly. "I should probably start running now, huh?"

"If you think you still got it."


	26. Double Sided

**Double-Sided**

Sometimes Rapunzel couldn't help but feel that she was dating two people. She understood full-well that Eugene Fitzherbert and Flynn Rider were not, literally, two different people, but by the way her partner would flip-flop every so often he might as well be.

She was not entirely sure if people were aware how difficult it was to be courted by a man with two very different personalities. Just like she wasn't sure how any man would court a Princess who, at one time, had magical hair that glowed when she sang.

Regardless of the past, Rapunzel was sure that she was the only Princess in the whole wide world who dealt with this issue - and it was absolutely fascinating to her. So much so that she began to keep a journal of Eugene's personality shifts.

Inside the journal she would jot down every smirk and snarky comeback as a "Flynnism", as well as every sweet gesture and sensitive heart-to-heart as an "Eugeneism". The notebook was rather full of information, even though she wasn't entirely sure what to make of it all.

To Rapunzel it was science, but even with her minimal exposure to outside world she knew it was weird. Keeping tabs on people, especially those you were courting, was seen as rude and not to mention creepy.

Really creepy, actually.

With this in mind, she had hid the journal in a place where nobody would ever find it; under her mattress.

She was completely confident in her ingenious hiding spot, until Eugene decided it was a great idea to sneak into her bedroom in the middle of the night.

It was a Flynnism of his, climbing down from his bedroom window to her's; swiftly avoiding guards on night patrol. Effortlessly, he picked the lock to her bay window, nimbly climbing inside only to kick off his boots before making his way towards her bed.

Rapunzel always lay curled in her blankets, eyes sleepily half-lidded as he joined her in the bed, scooting closer as she kicked the covers over the two of them.

He then gathered her up his in arms and in a very-Eugene way kissed her softly, and then Flynnishly bragged of how he beat his self-imposed time of getting from his room to her balcony.

As their kisses intensified, their position on the mattress shuffled. Leaning across her, he had attempted to rest his weight on his arm, but briefly lost his stance when her hands began to run down his chest.

It was during this lapse that he felt something wedged under her mattress.

"There's something under your mattress," he breathed against her lips.

"N-no there isn't," she stuttered, breathing heavily.

He adjusted himself so he could reach out and grab it without compromising their position, and she squeaked when she felt his arm reached for the book. Thinking quickly, she bucked her hips, stopping him mid reach, and managed to flip them over. They bounced slightly as they landed on the end of the bed, with Rapunzel on top.

Swallowing Eugenishly, he looked up at her as she closed to spaced between them, continuing where they left off.

"Oh Rapunzel," he groaned, breaking contact as she began to unclasp his vest.

"Eugene..." she breathed after the last stupid clasp was done, and she began on his buttons.

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"What?" she managed, and suddenly looked down to see his Flynn Rider smirk, holding the leather-bound journal triumphantly. "EUGENE!"

She lunged towards his hands, but he kept the book out of her reach. Rolling over again, he managed to shake her off as he opened the book.

"What's in here that has you so upset?" he grinned, "Ooooh, are you writing me love letters?"

"Eugene, I'm serious," she grunted as he held her back with his legs. "Augh, gimme it back!"

"Don't pop a vessel, I will," he explained, after quickly blocking one of her side attacks. "I just wanna-OH!"

She froze as he flipped through the notebook, raising his eyebrows at some pages and squinting his eyes at others. Looking up at her from the book, then down at the pages, he smiled.

"Don't be mad," she begged. "Please don't be mad!"

Closing the book gently, he tossed it over the side of the bed, all while smiling wickedly.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she cringed when the book hit the floor. "I told you not to lo-"

He cut her off with a heated kiss, which quickly intensified, leaving her absolutely breathless as he pulled away.

"Eugene..."

"Eugene's not here right now," he said huskily, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. "But I can show you how Flynn Rider does these kinds of things… and believe me, it is way better than anything you had in that stalker diary."


	27. Pretty Ponies

**Pretty Ponies**

As much as Eugene enjoyed having three square meals a day, nice clothes, and roof over his head, the luxuries of palace life sometimes grew dull. He wasn't complaining, but with his days filled with shadowing the King and lessons regarding what to say to important people to not piss them off, he couldn't help but look back on his rougher days with a rose-tinted hue.

Thankfully, weekends at the castle were usually quiet, spared for the occasional guest, and Eugene took full advantage of this free-time. Bribing Maximus with apples, he would quite often take Rapunzel sightseeing, bringing her to palaces such as the small caves he has discovered during his heisting days when he required a hideout, or perhaps a secret beach off the waterfront.

"Is this the kind of place you wanted?" she had asked, working hard to bury his leg in sand as he lazily napped in the late spring sun.

"You mean my tanned, rested, and alone thing?" he laughed, "Sort of, but I think I like tanned, rested and with you more."

"Yeah... an island is a lonely place," she responded candidly, smiling as she worked on burying his other leg. "You would get bored with all that money and nothing to spend it on."

Eugene could not help but quietly agree.

Their next adventure was deep in the local woods, near a hilly clearing that Eugene and Maximus were excited to race around while Rapunzel climbed the tallest tree she could find.

"Can you see us from up there?" he called out to her, watching to make sure she didn't fall and break her neck.

"Yeah, I see you," she called back, limberly climbing from branch to branch before reaching the top. "Woah, I can see everything from up here!"

"I'm sure you can," he crossed his arms as he sat on Maximus's back. "Listen, Max and I are gonna go explore, so just sit tight and enjoy the view."

"Okay, I will," she smiled, swinging her legs happily as Pascal rested on her head. "Hey, I see a caravan on their way to the Palace!"

"Probably more Big Wig visitors for your parents."

"They have about a dozen horses, maybe Maximus can make friends!"

"Yeah, maybe if it wasn't for his personality," he answered, as Maximus glared and purposely walked under a low branch to smack Eugene in the face.

"Hey, I was kidding," he turned around to call to Rapunzel as they trotted away from her tree. "Just scream if you need us."

Once they were out of view, Eugene leaned forward as Maximus turned to face the ex-con. "Think you're still the fastest horse in the Kingdom?"

The horse snorted at the absurdity of the question. Think? Oh please, Maximus knows he is the fastest horse in the kingdom, but no one ever said that he was against proving it over and over again.

"Ah, you think that now, but it's been pretty comfy around here lately," he sighed dramatically as he planted his seed of doubt. "It's hard to stay in top-shape without-GAH!"

Bolting at full force, Maximus whizzed down the hills, not only shutting his rider up, but putting him in his place as well. Laughingly merrily, Eugene held onto Maximus's reigns tightly as he pounded the grass at full throttle.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," he cheered as they zigzagged through trees and jumped over stumps. "You're a horse of action, mi amigo!"

They neared a small puddle of mud, and Eugene grinned daringly.

"Okay Max, let's just jump over this," he ordered, but the horse did not respond. "Max?"

Leaning over, Eugene noticed that Maximus was looking past him, firmly focusing on something off in the distance.

"I hate to be a backseat driver, but we're about make a mess of our nice clothes," he pointed to the mud drawing closer. "So if it's not too much trouble, could you kindly _pull over?_"

As if snapping back to reality, the stallion planted his hooves into the earth, stopping dead in his tracks, as well as throwing Eugene clear into the air with a rather girly scream, landing perfectly in the very mud he was trying to avoid.

"UGH, DAMN IT, MAX!" he groaned, slopping with mud. The horse, however, was still staring off into the distance.

"What are you even looking at that's got you so distracted?" Eugene asked, rising to his knees to see the caravan Rapunzel had mentioned earlier. Upon closer inspection, however, he noticed that between the dozens or so of horses walking alongside the travelers, was a single mare with colorful ribbons decorating its mane elegantly.

"You have got to be kidding me," he grumbled, as Maximus watched the mare like a love-struck puppy, smiling goofily. Eugene flung a handful of mud at the horse out of spite. A hand full of mud which the seemly love-struck stallion did not notice.

"Eugene!" Rapunzel shouted while she ran towards them with Pascal perched on her head as a lookout. "You said to scream if I needed you, but I wasn't sure if you meant it the other way around as well, so I came just incase."

"Thanks, you're a doll," he said as he attempted to climb to his feet, only to lose his footing halfway through and fall back into the goop. He cursed under his breath as the mud caked his hair - that's going be a pain to wash out.

"Are you all right?" she asked, offering the end of a branch to help him out. "Why is Maximus just staring into space?"

"Apparently he spotted himself a pretty pony from that caravan you spotted earlier."

"He did?" Rapunzel squealed, clapping her hands together in excitement, letting go of the branch in the process. Eugene face-planted back into the mud, all but giving up hope of ever escaping its dirty clutches. "That's so sweet!"

"Yeah sweet," he grumbled, sitting up in the mud as Rapunzel asked Maximus to show her which of the horses he fancied. "Too bad nobody ever told him the rule, 'Men before Mares'."


	28. Namesakes

**Namesakes**

"What if my name's not really Rapunzel?"

The question had broken through his darken bedroom as she snuggled against his chest. It was their first night at the castle, and the reason why the palace guards had patrolled Eugene's room to make sure he stayed put. They didn't, however, take their newly found princess as the sneaking type.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I've been called Rapunzel my entire life, but my entire life was a lie," she explained, voice slightly muffled against him. "My name could've been too."

Her voice in the darkness was a reminder of their newfound position, as well as their current circumstances. He turned his head into her hair, smelling the scent of the musty tower he had died inside. It would be a while before she smelled like the soft silk sheets that cocooned them.

"Didn't your parents call you Rapunzel at dinner though?"

She made a noise, and he couldn't tell what it meant. She was quiet again for a bit, fiddling with a button on the nightshirt the King had given him.

"I like your name," he said, as if trying to console her. "It suits you."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I really couldn't see you as anything else but a Rapunzel. What if your parents did name you something before, but it was terrible?"

"Like what?"

"Like... like Muriel!"

"Oh!" she gasped. "I wouldn't be a good Muriel."

"Yeah... you would be a horrible Muriel."

"How about... Agatha?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "Ah, how about Zenobia?"

He felt her shake slightly as she laughed.

"I could've been an Ester," she said between giggles. "Then both our names could start with E."

"Ester and Eugene would make us sound like a brother/sister couple," he said while making a disgusted face.

"Yeah, Eugene and Rapunzel flows a lot better," she nodded, squeezing him tightly. "I like it better than Flynn and Rapunzel, too."

"You think?" he raised an eyebrow. "Because Rapunzel Rider could be a much more badass name than Rapunzel Fitzherbert."

"Don't think so," she smiled, "but I wouldn't take your last name, anyway."

"Oh yeah, that whole royalty thing," he pursed his lips together, thinking. "What is your last name anyway?"

She looked up at him and shrugged, making him chuckle.

Maybe he was better off not knowing, he thought to himself as Rapunzel adjusted his arms around her, it would be hard to out-lame a name like Fitzherbert.


	29. Goals

**Goals**

Eugene had to start keeping track of how he got himself into these situations.

As the rain pounded against the grass, he slicked back his bangs with his hands, trying to see through the storm. Across the field, he noticed Rapunzel, excited as always, standing dryly under a small tent. Sitting behind her on a small table were two empty jars, next to blue and red pebbles. Perched on her shoulder was Pascal, who smirked arrogantly at Eugene's misfortune.

Not that he could blame him, it was a pretty sucky situation to be in.

Suddenly the air was knocked from Eugene as a leather ball flew into his gut. He caught it with ease, but coughed nonetheless. As the figure of his opponent appeared through the rain, he frowned suddenly remembering the day before, when the weather was actually sunny and Eugene was roped into this mess.

It had started when Eugene had joined Rapunzel for one of her strolls through the village. Wading through numerous shops and stands. She had stopped to inspect some stained glass, pointing to him which she liked best when he had felt something hit his foot.

Looking down, he had noticed a leather kickball, and a group of young children run towards them.

"Hey mister," one of the boys had yelled, obviously not noticing who he was, and that he was kind of sort of famous and next in line to be the Princess of Corona. That or the kid didn't care. "Can you kick us back our ball?"

"Sure," he said, and with a swift motion had managed to kick it upwards into the air, and dibbled it on his knee, impressively.

"Woah," the kids managed, their tiny mouths hung open in awe.

Smirking, he had graduated from bouncing the ball on his knee to on top of his head skillfully. It was at this moment that he noticed Rapunzel had turned to face him, and that the kids were more impressed to see the Princess than his awesome ball tricks.

Whatever. Kids were stupid.

"Princess," the only girl in the group had asked sweetly. "Can you ask that annoying man to stop showing off give us back our ball?"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel scolded playfully as he sent the ball back at the kids with a swift head-butt, smacking it into the face of one of the boys. While the boy had sent him a rude gesture in return, from the corner of his eye Eugene caught the boy trying to mimic his knee bouncing only to send the ball flying into a nearby fruit cart instead.

"That was impressive, Rider," he heard from behind him and turned to see the Captain of the guards approach them. "Didn't know you were capable of using your athleticism for anything besides thievery."

"Always the tone of surprise," Eugene tsked, shaking his head. "You'd think after everything we've been through together you'd have a little more trust in me."

"I trust you enough to be within ten feet of the Princess, so shut up," the Captain huffed, turning to Rapunzel with a softer tone and bow. "How are you this afternoon, Princess?"

"Very well, thank you," she smiled, taking Eugene's hand. "Were you finishing your rounds of the village?"

"Yes, I was," he had nodded, before turning his attention back to Eugene. "Listen Rider, maybe I have been short changing you. How about tomorrow we have ourselves a little day of sportsmanship? It would be all in good fun, of course."

Eugene had raised his eyebrow at the Captain, as "all in good fun" was not a phrase he would use describe to his relationship with the Captain. It as more like "all in terrible fun" and the fun usually involved kicking (and not a ball, mind you), screaming, and him running away as the Captain threatened to kill him.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Rapunzel had squealed, squeezing his hand tightly.

Eugene couldn't disagree more.

"Excellent," the Captain smirked. "You play soccer, don't you Rider?"

And that's how he ended up at one of the palace's fields, in the pouring rain, with a guy who hated his guts to play a game he had never even heard of before.

"You ready, Rider?" the Captain snickered.

"Yeah," he answered, trying to hide uneasy tone with a cough. "It's just one-on-one soccer match, right? No problem."

"You're not scared are you?"

"Me? Scared?" he screeched, laughing obnoxiously. "Of course not! What makes you think that, Capt?"

"For one thing, you hugging that ball like it's a damn teddy bear."

Unamused, Eugene dropped the ball between them, calling the Captain of the Guards a rude name under his breath.

"All right, on your word, Your Majesty," the Captain called, turning to Rapunzel who happily stood from her seat under the tarp.

"Okay," she grinned. "First to score 5 goals wins the match, are you ready?"

The Captain and Eugene turned to each other, then the Princess, nodding.

"Ready, set...GO!"

Before Eugene could process what had happened, the Captain had rushed past him, knocking him back into the mud, taking the ball halfway down the field.

Yeah, this was going to be great.

"C'mon Eugene!" he heard Rapunzel call from the sidelines. He jumped to his feet slipping slightly. If he as going to get his ass kicked, the least he could do was try to look good doing it.

Eugene had managed to block the Captain's shot, stealing the ball and heading back to his goal which seemed to be farer than ever. With the Captain hot on his tail, he attempted to kick the ball towards his goal but had, however, overestimated the kick and landed back in the mud. From the sidelines he had heard Rapunzel's voice again.

"Goal made by the Captain," she called, as Pascal placed a red pebble in a jar labeled Captain. "The score is 1-0."

As the game progressed it became apparent to Eugene that there was no way in hell he had a chance of winning against the Captain. While he had agility and speed, the Captain had strength and strategy. The mud on the field was becoming downright unbearable.

Eugene looked at the jars under Rapunzel's tent, seeing the four red pebbles happily sitting in the Captain's jar while his only had one, which was a goal he was sure the Captain had allowed out of pure pity. He frowned, sprinting at the Captain with newfound determination.

"Well, look who it is," the Captain smirked, dribbling the ball down the field leisurely. "I had almost forgotten you were here."

Eugene opened his mouth to respond when suddenly his foot slipped spraying the Captain with mud, temporarily blinding him.

"Hey!" he groaned, stopping the whip the mud from his face. "Watch it!"

Eugene wasn't stupid enough to pass up an opportunity when it presented itself, and instantly took the ball in his possession, and sprinting down the field as fast as he could, slipping and sliding all the way.

He heard the Captain curse as he barreled behind him, but Eugene had gained enough of a lead that by the time the Captain was even close enough to steal the ball back, Eugene had kicked it into the goal.

"GOAL!" Rapunzel jumped to her feet, sending Pascal flying to the roof of the tent, only to fall back on her head with a THUMP! "That's 4-2!"

Dizzily Pascal crawled from Rapunzel's head to the jars, dropping a blue pebble into Eugene's.

"That was a cheap shot, Rider," the Captain hissed. "Though, should've expected it from you."

The answer was so obvious Eugene nearly smacked himself at his own stupidity. Of course he couldn't beat the Captain fair and square, but when did he ever actually win by playing fair?

It was time to take this game seriously enough to cheat his ass off.

"Y'know, Capt," he said, conversely as the ball was sent back into play. "You never told me your real name, have you?"

"What?" he asked, turning to the younger man as he kicked the ball down the field. "Do you seriously believe this is the best time to discuss my name?"

"We don't get to bond that much," he said with a shrug. He slanted as they ran, unbeknownst to the Captain who was too busy glaring at Eugene, and kicking the ball forward. "So what is it? Can you give me a hint?"

"Rider," he growled, and Eugene shook his head dramatically, now running straight, making sure to be the one leading their path, distracting his opponent.

"No, that's my name," he correctly, stopping suddenly. "Actually, it's not. My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert, but you probably already know that."

"I don't care what the hell your name is," the Captain snapped, noticing the goal was in sight and kicking the ball inside. Rapunzel cheered again, but he ignored her call of the score to turn back to Eugene, "What makes you think I give a damn?"

"Well for one thing," Eugene grinned, thumbing the goal. "It was my goal you just scored in."

"What?" the Captain turned to see Pascal placing a blue pebble in Eugene's jar, before turning to see that he was right; he had ran around his own goal and right towards Eugene's. "DAMN YOU, RIDER! YOU TRICKED ME!"

"Moi?" Eugene pointed to his chest, pouting. "Well, that's just bad sportsmanship, Captain! I hope you don't teach your men that it's okay to be rude to their opponents!"

The rain began to lighten up as the ball was put into play again, again taken by the Captain before Eugene could think twice. Nevertheless, Eugene was hot on his tail.

"CAPT, WATCH OUT FOR THAT ROCK!"

"SCREW OFF."

"NO REALLY!"

"NOT LISTENING!"

"I'M SERIOUS!"

"YOU'RE FULL OF IT."

Swiftly, Eugene kicked a large rock in front of the Captain, causing him to lose his footing and land face-first into the mud with a loud SPLAT!

"I tried to warn ya," Eugene shrugged as he scored another goal, evening the score.

"4-4!" Rapunzel cheered, as Pascal bobbed on her head nauseously before slowly adding the blue pebble to the jar. "The last goal wins the game!"

"Rider," the Captain hissed. "Enough of the circus act, it's time for you to play like a big boy now."

"I could say the same to you, since you seem to get off on blaming other people for your own mistakes."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

The Captain growled, as Eugene slicked back his hair from his face. He usually didn't give a damn about sports, but now that he had a chance of winning this thing he suddenly cared.

The ball was back in play and this time Eugene managed to snatch it, running at full speed towards his own goal. From his side, he heard the Captain grunt and huff, but Eugene would not let up, sidestepping the burly man's offenses.

Eugene's goal was within his reach, and he lined up to make his shot, when he suddenly felt the ground lift from under him. Before he knew what hit him, the ground did, as he crashed face first into the mud. Lifting his head quickly, he saw the Captain smirk from over his shoulder, his mustache drenched and droopy, but somehow still victorious.

Not only had he stolen the ball, the Captain had also managed to flip him over in the process.

"Damn it!" Eugene swore, punching the sloppy ground as he flew to his feet and raced after his opponent. His efforts appeared futile as even though he was within arms reach, he couldn't catch up.

They were nearing the Captain's goal, and Eugene knew he only had a matter of seconds before he scored the game ending goal.

With nothing else to lose, Eugene lunged himself forward, propelling himself on his momentum, in an attempt to grab the Captain from behind and drag him into the mud. He had miscalculated his distance, however, and instead of grabbing onto his torso, he had latched onto his trousers instead.

"RIDER!" the Captain bellowed, looking behind him to see Eugene's face planted into the mud, "GET THE HELL OFF MY PANTS! YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING THIEVING LEECH!"

The Captain was answered by Eugene's barely audible refusal, as he was dragged slowly behind the Captain by the leg of his pants.

"LET GO!"

Another muffled answer as his grip tightened and trekked forward.

"I'M GIVING YOU UNTIL THE COUNT OF THREE TO LET THE HELL GO OF MY PANTS!" The Captain bellowed, trying in vain to move both the ball and Eugene behind him while going towards his goal. "ONE...TWO...THR-"

There was a deafening ripping noise heard, as the Captain tugged forward with all his strength while Eugene planted his feet firmly in the ground. Noticing his tugging had stopped, Eugene's mud covered face looked up to see that not only had he stopped the Captain, he also held a sizable amount of fabric in his hands. Putting the two together, he looked up even higher to see a very red faced Captain trying to cover his newly exposed rear with his hands.

Throwing the fabric aside, Eugene took off like a rocket, taking the ball from the mortified guard and hurrying back to his side to score the winning goal. He didn't stay to celebrate his victory, however, as after he scored he continued running for a different reason - the furious (and bottomless) Captain.

From under the tent, Rapunzel and Pascal stared at each other dumbstruck, not entirely sure if this was how all soccer games were supposed to end.


	30. Sleepless

_For run4life for the being ~300, Airplane for trimming the fat, and the 300+ of you who have favorited, alerted, reviewed and read these shorts from the beginning. I love you all to bits and pieces, and always write these for you._

* * *

**Sleepless**

It was chilly in Corona, and with the cold weather came the all the annoying things that come with winter, like ice and frost. As the walls of the palace froze, it became next to impossible for Eugene to scale it without risk of breaking his neck, making any late night rendezvous with Rapunzel a rare occurrence.

He would sigh, fitfully turning a bed that felt foreign to him. He had all but forgone the idea of sleeping when he heard a scratching noise coming from his door. With his face still muffled in his pillow, he managed to turn his head and make out the familiar green form of Pascal squeezing through the space between the door and the floor.

The chameleon squeezed through with a pop, as the force it used to wedge itself through set it flying across Eugene's bedroom, landing on his mattress with a bounce.

"Well, that's a way to make an entrance," he said, sitting up to pick up the tiny trooper, "What can I do for you, buddy?"

Pascal sat up in Eugene's hands, squeaking between pants as it flailed its tiny arms in the air frantically. Rising an eyebrow at the lizard, Eugene attempted to make out what he was trying to say to no avail. While he had been in Pascal's company for a while, he was still not fluent in frog.

Pascal smacked his face with his paw, dragging it down slowly in exasperation, leering at the man between his digits. Sighing, he lifted two chameleon fingers.

"Okay, two words."

He then lifted up a single digit, then placed his paws on his hips, before making a circle with his hands.

"First word, person, female." Eugene nodded, stroking his beard in thought. "Gotcha."

Pascal nodded, before scurrying under the blanket, appearing on the other end to wrap it around his head like a makeshift wig. Squeaking, he mimicked singing.

"Uh...Rapunzel?"

Frantically nodding, Pascal then attempted to mime the second word, which confused Eugene even further. All he managed to do was figure out that it had to do with sleep.

"Rapunzel's tired? She's sleeping? Dreaming? Is she having a nightmare?" he rambled, and Pascal stared up at him, obviously annoyed. "Don't look at me like that, I'm trying here. Throw me a bone or something."

Not knowing what else to do, Pascal made a motion similar to that of a zombie roaming the night. He began walking on his hind legs with his arms out in front of him, fake snoring lightly.

"Wait...she's sleepwalking?"

Pascal nodded again, grinning at his own genius. If he wasn't so confused, he would question the sanity behind playing charades with a chameleon.

"You're kidding."

The chameleon shook his head, climbing Eugene's arm to his shoulder and pointing towards the door. He obeyed, because not only did he play games with chameleons, he followed their orders, too.

It didn't take long for him to find her, petting a houseplant, her expression dazed.

"Rapunzel?" he whispered, making his way to her as slowly as he could.

He snapped his fingers in front of her face to gain her attention, then began waving wildly to break her from her trancelike spell, but it was no use.

"Woah, you weren't kidding," he mumbled to Pascal before turning back to the girl, making a motion to wake her. "Hey, Rap-OW!"

He was stopped as Pascal's tail whipped his face, which was surprisingly painful.

"What was that for?" he whined, rubbing his face before remembering the golden rule of Sleepwalking, "Oh...you're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker, right?"

Another nod from the chameleon, and Eugene was tempted to ask why but didn't really feel like playing another round of charades.

"Can we move her without waking her up?"

To this, Pascal had no answer and stared at the princess who was still petting the houseplant.

The familiar sound of metal clanking broke the night's silence as a guard approached the hallway for his nightly patrol.

"Well, we don't really have a choice," he said, taking hold of Rapunzel by the shoulders, "Say bye-bye to the plant, Princess."

He steered her along, barely avoiding the guard as they traveled through the halls. Pascal assisted the situation by jumping from Eugene's shoulder to the ground to move small objects out of the way so she didn't slam into them.

"Okay, here we go, a bit left," he instructed, directing her slightly. "No, that's right and down stairs, which are bad. There we go...okay, keep going left...no, no that's right again, and into someone's bedroom, and people don't usually like having guests barge in on them in the middle of the night." At this Eugene sent Pascal a look, and the chameleon responded by moving a pot in front of his feet.

They had neared her bedroom when they came across a horde of guards, conversing at the end of the hall leisurely. Frantically, Eugene checked for another route, but could only think to spin around and retreat. Rapunzel, however, didn't seem to agree with this as she was just walking forward, making a U-turn next to impossible.

Not knowing what else to do, he quickly picked her clear off the ground under one of his arms as he hurried backwards, and down some stairs before turning into one of the palace's empty royal kitchens.

He sighed in relief, looking down at Rapunzel to notice her arms and legs were still moving, giving off the strange image of her walking sideways on air. Gently he placed her back on the ground, wondering how the hell she managed to stay asleep during this ordeal.

"Nice," he grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his hand. "Now we're stuck in here until patrol passes, or she conks out."

From the ground Pascal shrugged, again not of any use.

"How long does these things usual-WOAH!" he jerked forward, because Rapunzel had gotten into the plates, and was currently letting them fall onto the ground. He caught the first plate with ease, but it was then followed by another, and another, which had him scrambling, catching each before they shattered on the floor.

"Rapunzel!" he hissed, catching a particularly expensive looking wine goblet with his pinky, "Stop it!"

She slowed, like a robot powering down, a fork slowly slipped from her grasp, and was quickly caught by Pascal's tail. Once he was sure that the dinnerware was no longer in danger, he stood next to the princess as she stared into space. He didn't know much about sleepwalkers, but a kitchen filled with sharp objects and things that could easily be broken was probably not the best place to have one.

"Ready to go back to bed?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "Okay, if you do want to go back to your room, then don't say anything and just stare into space."

Turning on her heel, Rapunzel made her way to the bread box, and Pascal scurried across the counter to help her open the lid. Slowly, she pulled out two slices, slapping them onto the table before making her way to the cupboard. She pulled out random jars of marmalade, pickles, tomato paste, sardines - all of which Pascal opened for her with a twist of his tail.

"Would you stop that?" Eugene scolded as he opened a tightly sealed jar of honey. "You're encouraging her!"

Pascal stuck his tongue out, sleepwalking or not, he enjoyed being helpful to Rapunzel. Eugene sighed, it was no use, he was trying to reason with a sleeping walker and a chameleon - he already lost. He decided that instead of trying to fight crazy, he was better off supervising it.

He quickly learned that making a sandwich while you're asleep is difficult, and often times he had to help her put things in the right place, and not get stabbed with a knife covered in peanut butter.

"Oh, you want to put Paprika on your mustard and pickle sandwich?" he lamely asked, handing her the spice. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What do you want to use next? We have a cornucopia of random foods that have always dreamed of being between bread. How about this chop meat?"

When the sandwich was done, it looked like some kind of monster that needed to be put out of its misery. Eugene could've sworn he heard it growl at him, but it could've been his sleep deprivation. Sleepwalker Rapunzel handed it to him, and it felt soggy and wet in his hands.

"Uh...yeah thanks," he smiled, turning to throw it in the trash. He made a show of pretending to eat it, not able to openly hurt her feelings even in her sleepwalking state. "Oh yum, super delicious. That was the best...whatever that was...sandwich I've ever had!"

After wiping the remnants on his pants, he looked over his shoulder to see Rapunzel slowly sliding down the side of the counter and onto the floor. He quickly made his way to her slumped form to hear her even breathing, sleeping soundly. From next to her, Pascal grinned excitedly, giving him two thumbs up.

Eugene managed to gather her in his arms, as Pascal rode on his shoulder, sneaking past the guards and making his way to Rapunzel's bed chamber. He covered her with the blankets, kissing her softly before she snuggled into the comforter. Worn out from the night's adventure, he wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed with her, but knew better than to push his luck.

He was on his way out when he stopped, turned back to the bed, and tucked her in so tightly that when she awoke the next morning it took nearly 15 minutes for her to untangle herself from the sheets.


End file.
